Moments Before

Ashton

I've literally never been so embarrassed in my life. I'm hiding behind the bakery trying to intake air and failing spectacularly. I probably looked crazy to him. But every time I close my eyes all I can see is his shredded organs and lifeless eyes. I can't stop crying. Fuck, why can't I stop crying?  For a flighting second I want to tell someone. I need to tell someone, like call the police and warn them someone is coming after Noah, sometime soon. But I know that they would lock me away without hesitation in a loony bin. 

I also know that when I walk inside of that building, the one that screams love and warmth I will have to put a smile on. They'll notice something is amiss so I'm going to have to sneak up to my room and fix myself. I probably look like a mess but honestly I'm just trying to hold it together. I think I've finally stopped crying. Hesitantly I peer into the store from the window. No one is down there which means that mom's staff flaked again and she has to go do a delivery. Rosanna will be in the back, cooking as always. 

With a carefully devised plan I enter the bakery and listen to the jingling bells that announce my presence. Before Rosanna can come out of the kitchen I call out a quick hello and dash up the stairs to my room. My bedroom is on the top floor but I bolt up the countless stairs and for once fate smiles on me when no one in my family sees. I don't really know if it's fair to say fate when really, Dad's at work, mom's on delivery and Derrick and Ramon can't be bothered.

I swing into my bathroom in my suite and stare into the mirror. My dirty blond hair is a tangled rats nest that will be painful to brush out. Bruising on my jaw will be noticeable regardless of how much makeup I pile on there. My eyes are a disgusting red colour and bloodshot flit around my dark blue eyes. Mascara tracks streak down my face all my skin is flushed. This will require a full makeover. 

After a very long time I had gotten the makeup off, put on enough over my jaw that the bruising, while still evident is less noticeable. My hair is pulled back in a loose ponytail. Skinny jeans and a hoody should do the trick. With the hood up obviously so that my parent's won't notice my jaw. 

I know before I enter the dining room that dinner will be hell. Our house is set up strangely and divisible by floor. Floor one has the bakery, a wide assortment of sweet treats, the company kitchen,  and the company pantry. The second floor is our guest floor. It has one guest room, a music room with karaoke stage, gaming room with a million different systems, guest dining room, bar and an open area with a foosball table, pool table, and a ping pong table. Than the third floor is our family floor, with our laundry room, family living room, dining room, kitchen and three bedrooms. Those three bedrooms are occupied by Grandma, Grandpa and Pops. Nana passed years before. Than the top floor, five bedroom but each with their own bathroom. To say we live... comfortably, would be an understatement. 

The space was almost empty for a while. Grandma and Grandpa were living in their apartment flat, Pops was staying in a room at someone's house doing odd jobs for them here and there. They only moved in all last week. They aren't the ones who are going to make dinner tense. It was a gong show last night and I doubt tonight will be any different. That's because of Derrick and Ramon. 

When we were younger they were everything to me. They chased away the monsters under my bed, intimidated the school bully, stayed up late with me all night after I watched a scary movie I shouldn't have. Don't be fooled they were like any other brothers. They farted in my room, or jumped out of the closet to say boo. They teased me and hid my toys. Than everything changed. They're twins, and suddenly in the blink of an eye they were inside and I was locked outside.

Like being shut in a glass cage I yelled, danced, and screamed for their attention but it was still them and me. Two separate entities. The first time they got into trouble was one of the scariest days of my life, when mom got a call to pick them up from lockup. My heart shattered seeing them behind bars. Once they were released from their cell I ran to hug them. But they pulled away, sneering at me like I was a mouse disgusting and vile begging for scraps. It was the first time I noticed the distance between us and one of my first times getting a vision.