yeet ~ tobyonthetele and kryozgaming oneshots

feelings // kradio

toby

    "toby, how come you're not talking much?" fitz asked. "just not feeling too well," i responded. "you don't have to record with us, dude," john butted in. "yeah, no worries," fitz assured me. "thanks guys, i'll hopefully be okay later if you guys wanna talk or something," "okay, talk to you later," fitz said. "bye," i responded, leaving the call. after leaving, i laid in bed for about 15 minutes just mindlessly getting lost in my own thoughts until a discord call rudely interrupted me.

    i sat up, looking closer at the person's profile picture. realizing it was john, i hopped out of bed and back into my chair before answering. "hello?" i asked, my voice cracking a bit near the end of the word. "hey toby, what's going on?" john asked, his voice gentle. "nothing much, just about to take a nap. how about y..." "you know that's not what i mean," john said. "what do you mean then?" i asked, without thinking. "i mean, what's been going on with you? you've been sounding down recently," he answered.

    i breathed deeply, unsure of how to answer. "thanks for being concerned john but i'm okay," i lied. "that's a lie toby, please tell me what's going on." he sounded sad, something i couldn't bear to hear. "i- i don't understand john. why are feelings so dumb and why do they effect us so much?" i asked, opening up just a bit. "what kind of feelings?" he questioned.

    i thought about my answer for a moment before responding. "the kind that you usually don't know exist until they surprise you whenever they feel like it," i laughed nervously. "like, you mean you have feelings for somebody?" he sounded delicate, almost like at any moment he could break just as i had done. "i think so," i replied. "i don't see what the problem is, toby." john muttered. "the problem is that i can't have feelings for this person... i'll only end up hurting myself." i admitted, my voice cracking yet again.

    "and why is that?" john questioned. "there's no way they'll ever feel the same. no matter how many times i wish for it, it's something that's impossible." i said, sadness coating my words. "have you asked them?" john asked, already knowing the answer. "well, n..." "then how can you be so sure?" his question hit me hard and i went silent for a moment, thinking of my response before he spoke up.

    "why don't you tell me about them?" he insisted, changing the previous subject to my relief. "he's incredible." i said, thinking of the beautiful boy. "he's funny, very funny, smart, kind, caring, compassionate, and very fashionable. his laugh and smile are absolutely adorable and his eyes are the most beautiful blue- green orbs i've ever seen. his colorful personality never fails to cheer me up and his witty remarks can always bring a smile to my lips..." i stopped talking, realizing that i was just ranting on and on at this point.

    "wow, sounds like you're really in deep. do i know him?" john asked, an emotion i couldn't exactly place was present in his tone. "yeah, kinda," i answered. "well, since you told me about him, i guess i have to tell you about the wonderful person i have feelings for." my heart sank, hearing he had feelings for somebody even though i knew i had no chance, broke my heart.

    "well, for starters... he's amazing." he? i thought he was straight. "i wish he wasn't so far so i could give that precious boy a hug right now. his bright smile lights up my life and his laugh is so cute that i always laugh whenever i hear it. his eyes are quite the sight, surely the most perfect things i've ever seen. he's extremely kind and caring to everyone and anyone and i love how open-minded he is when it comes to everything. his flamboyant personality really just shows that he doesn't care what anybody thinks and  i envy him for that everyday..."

    "john," i said, softly. "yes?" he responded. "would i happen to know this person?" i asked. "actually, you would." he answered. we both sat very silent for a moment before one of us decided to say something. "toby, i really, really like you," john admitted eagerly, "i can't keep it from you anymore. i know that you're into somebody else but i needed to get that..." "john you oblivious cunt, i really like you too," i laughed, barely able to contain the excitement that washed over me.