Umpteen Disadvantages of Being Awesome

Disadvantage 1 - Over thinking

Disadvantage 1 - Over thinking after doing things which fall under 'awesome' category.

Fuck. Man how can someone possibly be so damn cute? Ah! Did he just move his hand through his hair? Yeah right. You deliberately want to stand there look all cool dude type and want ME to stutter, squeal in my head and grin so hard that the edges of my lips feel as if they are about to tear.

"Are you okay? Ready eh?" Genyvieve elbows me

"Yup." I reply

That is the only response I can generate right now. Okay, lets go over this again. Marc Leandro, its high time and-

"Should I go call him?" She asks again.

"You ask him to come till your car. I am right behind." I said hurriedly

"All the best dude." Thanks Geny. Much needed.

Deep breathe. Go over this again Beck. Chill. 'Marc Leandro, its high time and you should know this. I really like you. Its been 2 years since I've had this HUGE crush on you. I don't want to hear your answer or what you've got to say. This is just a confession. Yeah bye.'

Well that's good enough. I have even practiced to make it look more natural. Cause lets be honest, you aren't going to go over to that guy, take out a paper, ask them to stand-still and proverbially pour your feelings and make it look like a friggin' eulogy.

"Beck!" Lize calls out while running towards me."Beck. You are coming with us. Right ?"

"That's what I think." I say slowly

"Come on then." Charlize grabs hold of my wrist and leads the way.

Yep it's all well rehearsed and I do remember it. Just say it. Yeah. Say it. Breathe in breathe out.

Not wasting much time now as Marc had seen me coming and Geny and Lize were already inside the car, I hurry up to him.

"Hi." He says. God, he is so gorgeous.

"Hi" I reply which comes out more like a gush of air..

Before he can in anyway say something else, I quickly proceed with my piece.

...

And forget all about it even sooner.

"Listen Marc. Just don't say anything right now, listen. Its taking all the courage I have. Urgh. Okay so it took me two years and I coming off with it now." He gives me very weird look, more of the 'judgemental' look so I quickly add in between "I am not going to say I am a hermaphrodite cause I am not so don't make that tensed up face. I like you....since two years...a lot." There. Said it.

And for all I could read, his expressions were written in Greek which I don't comprehend. His face changes from the Greek-face to the Blank-face soon. He says nothing and my knees feel like giving in. I say bye and jump into the car and we drive off in less than a minute.

"It's all okay. You are so courageous, how many times have you seen a girl just go and confess her feelings ?" Geny says, from the front of the car.

"Yeah, I am okay Geny. Thanks" I reply, not meetinh her eyes.

"You are gonna be fine. That was so cool and his expression.. you killed it." Lize says, trying to comfort me.

"Lize, I am totally fine and yeah I know that was awesome. Somewhere, some guy must be happy that a girl did it."

I look our of the window as I think. The last part is true, it did feel very awesome but I don't know why this shaky, choked up feeling is coming. I don't cry! Maybe I do sometimes but not at petty things like this. For god sake it was just a confession and I was the one who went ahead and willingly did it. It was just.. I don't know taking time to sink in ?