Umpteen Disadvantages of Being Awesome

Disadvantage 4 - Calm And Passive

Please read the author's note in the end. Thanks

Disadvantage 4 - Even if your heart is racing with anticipation, your 'awesome' personality does not let you show it. You have to be calm and passive.

Grace suddenly looked up and said "Hey, the result is up."

Genevieve had been filling me in all the time about the competition and it was not long before I did realize that it was a Big Competition. I mean one does not simply go to Canada for the final round of a dance competition. And the winners are going to get a lot of scholarships etcetera to which I am not introduced till now. If I will be.

"I had asked Holly to message me when they put up the list."

I can say that I am perfectly fine and relatively calm - I am smiling and radiating off positiveness but then I'd be lying so I won't.

"Oh my god, Beck! Its finally up." Geny said and clutching my hand ever so tight. I swear I can feel her nails cutting through my skin, touching my bones.

"You want to come, see the result yourself or want us as your servants ?" Lize asked.

"You can go get your mistress her answer. Go on, go now."

"You can wait outside the rehearsal room, we'll meet you there." Geny said as she made Lize turn from one hand and Dean from the other.

Oh man, Racheal was already running down the corridor. She was literally running. Grace and others followed her in the same direction. I started towards the opposite direction to rehearsal room. This was it, within like five minutes I'll know the result. Even Aubrey has given auditions and boy she's too good. She is a tough competition.

"Ala."

That is Racheal for sure. No one else calls me Ala.

As I turned I saw Racheal running towards me. It was funny to see her going up-down the corridors as if she was being paraded. I let out a few laughs as she came to a halt. Again breathless.

"Its okay Racheal, I leave everyone breathless. You're no exception."

"Just - came up - to tell you - t-o - chill." She said in between her deep breaths and muffled voice.

That's .. really sweet you know.

"Oh come on Rach, you just can't help not seeing my face."

"I'll - go back - there's a hu - ge rush."

Then she turned and went away, this time just walking fast.

That moment when you are going to get a result of something you've done is a bit of exhilarating. From result I mean anything. A test paper to the card you made for a friend to proposing a guy or a girl for that matter. All of it down to this. Somewhere we kind of know the 'result' too but we just don't allow us to accept it. We think it might get our hopes high and when it comes crashing down, it pulls you over down too. We want to make ourselves believe that 'it's-not-happening' or the result won't be what we actually do expect it to be so that if it is not then a part of us is ready to accept it. And by some miracle, quoting us all, it does happen, we stay grounded yet happy to a new level.

I don't really get it how my brain managed to think that but hey, it was kind of philosophical. But why on this earth am I explaining this to myself ? I mean I know it already right ? Justifications-explanations. Huh.

Tapping my feet wildly outside the rehearsal room, eyes darting towards the direction I just came from. They'll be here anytime and then I'll know it. Know the answer. Am always finding answers these days. To Marc, to audition, to why my brain is in philosophical mood.