DEAD FEELINGS

LOVING HIM

The only mistake I made
Was to be this naive
And for a fleeting imaginary moment
Think that maybe
Just maybe
Your heart jumped at my name too

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Nobody I have ever liked
Felt the same way
How much karma am I paying for?

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I get it once
Twice even
But why does it happen every time?

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Whoever I like
Don't like me back
And then they ask me
Why don't you let your heart fall for someone

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I told you the words of my heart ,
with a lot more trust than you can fathom
This time if you break it
I don't think I will ever be able to do it again

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If you never liked me
Why were your eyes always trying to find mine?

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She broke your heart
And I loved you ardently with mine.
So why am i the one still suffering for her sins?

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Your fleeting glances and the way your eyes danced when we talked
Didn't mean nothing
Did it?
Stupid me
To decipher a million unsaid things
In the hopes that you had fallen too

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I fell for you, I shouldn't have
But worse, you knew
Yet you stood on the sideways
Watching me go downhill

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I should have realised,
The moment you compared me to your past,
That that was what I was always going to be
A fickle reminder of your heart broken past

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She loved you, you loved her and she left
Now I love you ,but you still love her so you left

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I discard my fear
And with a lot of trouble
Finally end up confessing my love,
But what do you do
Just mock me at my vulnerability
And run, hard and fast

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I'm done with you invading my thoughts
I'm done with letting you outstay your welcome in my heart
I'm done... I have to be done
With you, because you are
Done with me.

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Because you and I
Are never going to evolve from figments of my imagination
You and I are never going to be more than the illusions in my head.
You prohibit us from being real

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When I saw you, you were a radiant yellow
The one I wanted more of
But I was the grey you didn't need , because you had your own black and white

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Unknowingly...
I fell, I loved
I confessed, it hurt
You didn't care, didn't respond
Left my words like vultures leave dead bones
I suffered silently, cried inside
Let my soul slowly wither and die
Unknowingly you hurt me
More than anyone has ever done before
Unknowingly you made me afraid and terrified to call anyone my own...

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I have to hate you
There really isn't any other way
I have to let my feelings fall away
There really isn't any other way

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I will have to cut my wrist on my own
Before you suffocate my bones

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Don't hurt me now,
I'm saturated with pain
Don't mess with me
I'm starving and insane
Don't talk me down
I'm falling apart
Don't mess with my love
I will scar your heart

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Fuck you and this bullshit love game I tried to play
I am no longer waiting for you to man up
From here on everything I've ever felt, I'll cast away
A possible epic romance shall and must die today.