The world has us open our eyes
Every morning
And shut them every night
But to those like me
Who sit in their own ageny
Its a long night before school starts at 5
Its fights with your ex cause they just left before 2 or three nights
Its crying and having your cat wipe the tears
And telling that animal how you really feel
Without not mentioning the pills
Its the meds you take that make you different
Its the panic attacks when your phone buzzes
Its the not eating
Then devowering the ice cream in a second
Its telling your parents your perfectly alright
While you try not to cry almost every night
Its realizing when you delete the photos
The memories stay
And your heart begins to quickin
All these thoughts keep clicking
The lies become truth
Are you okay
Im fine
Well thats not true
What more can i do for you
Block you
End you
Im stuck with the thought of you
And i cry
To think
About this awful thing
How im broken inside
How im failing to speak
Cause the words mean nothing
They have almost no greeting
But when the tears stop
And the voices stop screaming
I feel nothing again
Just like the beginning
So i handle with care
And wonder to think
Of maybe just maybe
What this means
A year on a lier
I loved far too long
And a person
Who doesnt understand the things they do wrong
But life doesnt warn you
For the path that you take
The people that you hate
May just be your soulmate
I dont hate or beg or morn her
I wanted to fix and mold and change her
Allow someone close to be a better them
And i thought my love was the end game
So with tears in my eyes and scars on my thighs
I tell the ones who care
Im am perfectly alright
So tell me about you thoughts and hopes and dreams
And while i keep what happended out of anger hidden
Cause she wont read the words i say
The thoughts i think
The words i type
The pages to bring
I scream in my head
Bury my face in the bed
Cry the tears needing to be shed
And go to bed
Wishing that it never started
Cause then it never couldve end
You see i loved that girl
I was addicted to it
The love of the words she spoke
Melted my heart
Again and again
But it ended bad
And i wanted her mine
From the first i love you to yesterday at 9
See love doesnt let you choose
Or pick who you want
It comes so suddenly
You dont know where to start
And now i know i cant handle
Her toxic way of love
As it was always the way she sang into my prayers
The wishes that were made and the hope that i brought
Didnt change a thing
So in the end ill miss you in the fall, winter, and spring
So good bye old friend
Who will never read these words
Hope we couldve made it in the big wide world
