dream girl | ed - ON HOLD

mistakes

day 5, hawaii
thalias pov

after the conversation with kian, I felt so down. I didn't feel like doing anything or going anywhere anymore. Even though our conversation went... well I guess.

I just felt so guilty for everything. For even having these random feelings for Ethan in the first place. For leading kian on till this day when I know I shouldn't.

"thalia why aren't you ready" summer spoke as she entered my room and saw me sitting on the bed with a packet of Cheetos.

"i don't feel like going anywhere, you guys head out" I tried my best and forced a smile.

"why dude?" She question, flopping down on the bed with me. He fingers reached in the pack of Cheetos and pulled a few out, throwing them into her mouth.

"i don't feel well" i softly spoke. It was the truth. 

"alright, ill tell everyone else" she replied, walking back out of the room.

I went back to eating Cheetos until someone else walked in. Kian.

"babe you okay" he gently said sitting next to me. His hand traced the side of my face, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"yeah" I mumbled. I couldn't really lie to him, he probably knew why I felt down all of a sudden.

"I can stay if you want me to" he offered but I declined.

Just because I was being a buzzkill, I didn't want everyone else to stay home and be bored the whole time.

"it's okay, you have fun" I smiled looking at the beautiful boy in front of me.

>

soon I heard the door close shut, telling me that everyone was now gone out and would probably be out for the entire day.

gosh I'm so torn. Torn between two guys, like wow. how low of me.

I don't think I've ever felt this bad about myself, and I've never doubted myself this much either.

I'm at a all time low in life, and I don't know how to get better. Like a slope, downhill with no where to get back up.

i felt quite hungry now, still hadn't eaten any breakfast and it was like 11 am. i forced myself out of the warm sheets and walked to the kitchen.

but when I got there I almost died with panic because someone was already standing there.

My nerves calmed down quickly though after realizing it was only Ethan.

He stood there, bare back towards me as he scratched his head with his right hand. His left hand rested lightly on his hip.

"Ethan what are you doing" I said chuckling to myself.

Seeing him just makes me happy. cheesy but it's true.

"well a little birdy told me you weren't feeling too well, so I decided to stay behind as well" he turned to look at me and smiled.