"We can't all get out."
"Then I'll stay. For you. Run while you still can."
It all started with that yellow flower. The yellow flower in the room of the boy who'd tried to escape. Yellow was a colour Bethany had never seen. From the second the fou...
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Josh sat down opposite Bethany as he started explaining the reason as to why they wanted to leave Dema. The wooden floor beneath them wasn't comfortable to sit on, but it made them both feel a little closer to each other for some reason.
"I didn't see it at first. Ty was the one who introduced me to the idea. We don't have any control here. We're just prisoners. The bishops go as far as to control what we think. That's not normal." Josh stated. Bethany shook her head.
"We're not prisoners. The bishops are just looking out for us." Bethany replied, so certain about it. She did start to question why people couldn't just leave and how come they had to escape.
"Beth, when was the last time you laughed? When did you last feel happiness?" Josh questioned, leaning forward to lightly grab her hands. He watched her eyes go dark and fill with tears as she shook her head again.
"I can't remember." She whispered. "I can't remember what happiness feels- felt like." She admitted, removing her hands from his grip to cover her face. She hadn't cried for a while either, but started to feel like it would be something less rare.
"The bishops smeared you when you first got here. They did that to us all to make us forget life before Dema. We forget happiness. We forget relationships. We forget family. Dema becomes our entirety. Ty and I, we made music before we got here. He got here a while before me and it worried me so much. Jen was here when he arrived, but she hasn't been controlled by the bishops for ages. She can even remove their smears. No one else has done that before." Josh explained.
"Josh?" Bethany whispered, looking into his eyes.
"Yeah.?"
"I've been lied to for so long that I can't remember anything from before Dema. I can't remember anything. It's all just.. numb." Bethany told him. Josh sighed and moved over to hug the fragile girl tightly. She rested her head against his chest after being still for a moment. This was the first hug she could ever remember feeling. The feeling was new but she decided to savour it.
Josh whispered sweet things in her ear, reassuring her that everything was going to be okay. She didn't know what to believe any,ore but she felt like Josh was probably believable. Josh, Ty and Jen were what she had now. They knew much more than she did about the real world, she knew so much about the world they lived in for the time being.
She was quite sure that she wanted to be with the Banditos nevertheless. As uncertain as she was it felt quite correct. They were the ones with the knowledge.
"Have you ever been out beyond the walls?" Bethany asked Josh. He shook his head almost immediately.
"Ty is the only one to have got that far. We're planning, but he just goes for it. He's been out and caught a couple of times but each time he brings a flower back to remind him of the things he saw." Josh answered, making Bethany nod.
"The flowers in the drawer that the bishops couldn't see." She commented. Josh nodded at her.
"Jen always helps him back too. Once she literally had to punch him, but she got him back to us. We don't know why she can do what she does but it's a help." Josh admitted. Bethany nodded, trying to take in as much information as possible about the Banditos.
"Where will you go once you've escaped?" She wondered, now shuffling back from Josh and sitting across from him on the floor. Josh scooted back a little and shrugged.
"We've never been out there so we don't really know what our options are. Tyler and Jenna want to get married. I just want to find my way back to my family. I know that I have a brother and two sisters. The bishops are just holding me back." Josh sighed heavily, making Bethany frown. Maybe she was blessed not to remember anything, because she didn't have anyone to miss. She felt how her heart ached for Josh.
She had never had friends before, let alone thought of a family. She just remembered the bishops being the closest to her throughout it all because she did everything they ever asked of her. Could she really betray them like that? After all, the bishops had never hurt her. She couldn't recall a single time that they'd hurt her, except for now.
Maybe the Banditos were the bad guys, trying to ruin everything for the bishops? Bethany didn't know what or who to believe. Nothing was sure anymore and her mind was clouded with doubts, she doubted the Banditos, the bishops, and last but not least herself. Maybe she should've just obeyed and not paid attention to Jenna at the smearing.
Her life seemed to be falling around her already, just because of some people she had met. Even if things were crumbling because of Tyler, Josh and Jenna, she still felt a connection to them and truthfully, she didn't want them to leave her behind.
She craved the kind of touch that Josh had introduced her to, she craved the spark that she had seen in Jenna's eyes and she craved the support Tyler had. She craved all the new things they had shown her, she needed to know more, even if it would cost her the life she knew.
"Josh, I don't know what I'm thinking.. But I think I trust you guys." Bethany admitted with a sigh. Her eyes met Josh's and she felt so close to him that she couldn't have made a mistake. Josh simply nodded and reached for her hand again.
"We're glad.. But you need to know that this plan is going to take a while, and we're sure it'll be successful, but not everyone will succeed. I don't want to lie to you and say that we can wake everyone up and help them, but we can help a lot. If you want to back out at any point, we'll understand as this journey can be scary. Ty, as an example, has seen a lot of things and been treated differently for each wrong step. You need to be sure before stepping into this." Josh warned her.
Could she be sure? No, never. She didn't think she could ever be sure of right or wrong when it came to Dema, but she knew that something inside of her called out for the Banditos. She wanted to help them, even if she didn't want to escape.
"I'm sure." She lied. "Well, I'm sure I want to help you, even if I don't leave." She admitted, making Josh nod.
"Not all of us will get out, we know that for certain." Josh told Bethany.
"Well, I hope I can help make the number of failures lower. You guys seem so sure of what you want, and it would be a failure on my part to steal that from you." Beth told Josh, "But, I do need to teach you how to act like the others here, so our cover isn't blown. It needs to look like I've retaught you the concepts of Dema."
"Well, let's start." Josh shrugged.
"Okay, well we start with the eyes. The eyes are the most important. You've got to make them look dull, emotionless and empty." Beth told him, before staring forward blankly.
"You look so different." Josh was amazed at her acting skills. Had she been awake the whole time without knowing it herself?
"Once you can empty your eyes, the rest comes easy. The monotone replies, the walk, the sluggish movements that make you look like the mindless zombie they want you to be." Bethany answered, using that monotone voice she spoke about.
It scared Josh slightly, the way she could make herself look so.. dead.
She didn't look asleep, not after he had seen what she was like awake. Now he was certain that she could not stay here, because it drained her. It drew the light from her eyes with each false look she created for herself.