Finding Beauty in the Beast

Chapter 7

Song/video: "Listen to your Heart" Roxette

I was totally listening to this song while writing this chapter.

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For the first time in a very...very long time...I slept.

Not just sleeping from exhaustion...but it was a peaceful sleep...no nightmares...no memories...just relaxing sleep. I was awake but my eyes remained closed. I was enjoying this feeling of peace for as long as possible. I heard a muffled breath and the peace that I barely had hold of to begin with, shatters as my eyes fly open. I stare at the unconscious Joseph lying on the other side of the bed. I thought back and frowned thinking about last night...was it last night? It probably was. Even through I felt slightly uncomfortable to find a man sleeping in my bed...the fact that it was him, had me feeling an unnerving ease.

What was happening to me? I generally had a strong dislike to people but somehow this one had weaseled his way into a safe spot. I didn't like it...but at the same time...I didn't...not like it. I relaxed back into the bed but I kept my eyes on him. He looked so...blissful. His blonde shaggy hair was sticking up in places and it made me smile slightly. He was lying on his stomach with his arms outstretched under the pillow. I noticed that he was only under the top cover and he hadn't even bothered in putting a shirt on last night after the shift. I felt this buzz of...a feeling between us. As much as I wanted him to stay and make me happy...I knew that he had to leave. My smile turned into a frown and I looked away from him. Instead I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling. He could be everything that I used to ever want...he sure cared enough to seem like an eligible suitor...but I would...no I could never let that happen.

I glanced at him. Surely there was some girl back in the prairielands that loved him. Surely he had someone to go back to. There was no doubt that he was handsome so there had to be a young girl waiting for him to return. Why wouldn't there be? I thought back to the way he looked when he had talked about his home.

"You would be doing them a favor. They would elect the strongest in the pack who is far stronger than myself and he would do a far better job than I ever could."

He looked dejected. His eyes showed sadness but his jaw had been clenched.

"Why do you think that about yourself?" I remember asking him.

"Because it's the truth." He says quietly. "I may be the Alpha's son but I will never be a real Alpha."

I looked at him again, this time for a few moments longer before looking up again. He was strong and I had no doubt that he would step up and be the Alpha they needed. I wondered about his pack...or really any pack. What it must be like, living together in a group like that? How could they trust each other and depend on one another for their own safety?

"What are you thinking about?" Joseph's voice was deep from sleep.

I glanced at him without moving my head. "What is it like to live in a pack?"

He let out a breathy chuckle. "Really? That's what you're thinking about?"

I look at him fully. He has turned onto his side and was looking at me with an amused look on his face. "Why the sudden interest?"

"I'm just curious." I say quietly.

"Well...there are a lot of people." He runs a hand through his hair. "Do you know the order of command?"

I nod. "Alpha...then Beta and so forth."

"Right...so if your aren't in the top three levels, you're an omega; which means you know a trade but you might not necessarily be a skilled fighter. Everyone trains to fight no matter what level they're on. We are, after all, only as strong as our weakest link." He pauses thinking for a moment. "It's like living in a village except everyone knows everyone and half of them are somehow related..."