Born to be an agent

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This story isn't about you feeling sorry for me or to see how much I deserved the path I laid for myself. Where many people would say it was my fault, my stupidity and my recklessness that got me in this life. Part of it is true, but then again, they like to make things more dramatic than they really are.

Now I'm going to say what really happened to me, more than what the newspapers and the tv, said about my disappearance, and what I left behind.

All I did was really my job, that apparently, I was too good at. But as many films and books says, if they can't control it, then stop its rolling... Or something like that anyway.

Well of course I'm going to tell you about how it all started, or else it wouldn't make any sense, now would it?

It could have started many places in my childhood. Like when I as a 4 years old tried get my mom's attention by irritating her with a straw and some small paper balls. And when I as a 5 years old thought it was okay walking into my dads office, but got pushed out roughly and he spat some color-full words at me, that I was as stupid as my turtle that always walked into the glass of his aquarium. Well, unless I gave him food of course. Well, it first got worse when I was 6 1/2 where it was time for my mother to say stop when I bought an ice cream without her permission. She totally lost it and yelled at me in public with no regards of the bystanders that looked as shocked as I was. I knew she hated me, and never wanted me, but she usually would just ignore or call that dad.

So as a nice citizen there was a man that looked like he was in his 50's with his nice coat and scarf in his pocket. He tried to reason with my mother, that she went over the line when she said and I quote, "That I was a bitch and worthless piece of shit that doesn't belong in this world."

Well, as you may have foreseen, it didn't end well for the man. He got a right hook that made his head flying to the right and stumbling to the ground. She quickly fled from the scene so that the police wouldn't come and get her. I got hauled with her, stumbling to keep up with her long strides, that nearly got my flying to the ground.

She hastily threw me in the backseat with no care if I was in the car before smacking the door shot. Running angrily to the drivers seat and driving home. As soon as we got home she took me by the ear and dragged me trough the house to the door that leads to the basement. She then did something that surprised even me. She opened door, and threw me down the 20 or so steps to the basement. I thought she would leave me in my misery, but she came down slow and elegantly. To show me who was the superior in this house. With her overly self-satisfied smirk, she came down the last step. Then in a sudden movement so quick it would even surprise, Flash, she took me by the neck and made me look at her, so her long nails dug painfully into my scalp. Like in any action or horror movie ever.

Then she spat any curse or swearword, that could be on planet earth at me. Telling me that I was the biggest mistake of her life. That if she had the chance again she would have taken the morning after pill or an abortion. Or anything to just get rid of me. She yelled that at the top of her lungs making my ears ring at the close proximity she was. She stopped her rant, while she stood trying to catch her breath. She then saw that I didn't look hurt, and the anger seeped into her veins again. She took her hand so far back and swung it with all her might, at my chin, so it made my head feel like I got hit by a bowling ball and my legs felt unstable, so she was the only one holding me up. With er grip still in my hair so it felt that she pulled out all my hair in the process. Tears started to well up in my eyes, and a sob, fought it's way up my throat. She looked satisfied with the result, and pushed me away from her as if I was some kind of cockroach. She then closed and locked the door after she left.

Remember this isn't a story to feel sorry for me.

Well, now you just have to wait for the next chapter to come. Do you have enough patience?