I Love You Ms. J!

Chapter 20: Conversation with Deanna!

"She dumped you?" Deanna asked.

"Yeah."

"You hate me?"

"Not really." I told her. "You didn't know about me."

"Yeah." She muttered. "I almost told her to go to hell when she begged for me to forgive her."

I looked at her, oddly feeling connected to her. Out of everyone in the world, only two us knew what the other felt like at this moment.

"I gave myself to her." Deanna spoke softly. "Everything. And she did that to me."

"Why'd you take her back?"

"Because... I'm an idiot. I love her too much." Deanna looked depressed.

"It's her eyes." My heart stung.

There was a small a long time of nothing but birds chirping when finally Deanna spoke. "Did you... did you ever..."

"Sleep with her?" I asked.

Deanna only nodded.

"No. I'm not lying. We never got to that point." I assured her.

"I hate her so much." Deanna sniffed. "But can't live without her. I'm such an idiot."

I looked at her feeling a sting in my heart. "If she picked me... I'd stay with her too."

We both cried. I hated myself but I took a slight comfort that Deanna hated herself more.

When I left her, I wished her good luck, and meant it. In my mind she was a sweet girl who deserved better than what she got.

And I deserved better too.

Bella wasn't as shy and innocent as I thought, and my whole world was different. Now what was I going to do?

I reached into my pocket and felt a piece of paper that and remembered what it was. It was Aiko's number.

I pulled it out and looked at the number, wondering if I should call her. It seemed stupid to call Aiko, having to relive everything about, but I didn't want to be alone.

Plus she probably didn't want to hear me blubber on about some girl she hated. But I was tired of crying. My eyes hurt.

"Hello?" Aiko's voice came from my phone. She sounded confused as she didn't recognize my number. I didn't answer. I was tempted to hang up on her. "Hello?"

I still didn't answer, I don't know why my voice was failing me, but I couldn't talk.

"I can hear you breathing." Aiko's voice came back. "Hello?"

"Hello." I managed out. My voice sounded cracked and horrible.

"Who is this?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called." I spilled out quickly and hung up, my heart pounding.

I was about to place my phone back into my pocket but it rang. It was Aiko's number. Feeling foolish I answered the phone.

"Jessica, is that you?"

"Yeah."

"You idiot, you scared me breathing all heavy." Aiko's voice had a hint of laughter in it.

"Sorry."

There was a small beat then she asked. "What's wrong?"

"I met with Bella earlier." I told her lamely. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Then why'd you call- oh never mind, where are you? Do you want some company."

"Yes."

We made arrangements to meet at the same park Bella and I went on our first date. I don't know why I picked that out, it was close by and I for some reason I wanted to torture myself more.

When I arrived, I saw Aiko was already there, completely out of breath, with her fringe matted to her forehead. it looked like she ran the whole way there from where ever she was. Part of me felt moved.

"There you are Jessica." She said, breathlessly.