I Love You Ms. J!

Chapter 6: Goodbye for now!

           

I wondered if Bella wanted to believe I was a lesbian so she'd feel better about herself for mistaking me as a boy. That way she could hate me for using her innocence. But I didn't want her to hate me or start stories about how I was some enemy of women.

"So I'm not allowed to be nice? The date seemed important to you, and I wanted to give you a nice memory. Besides, complimenting a girl when you're a girl isn't flirting."

"Really?"

"If you knew I was a girl from the beginning, I saying you look pretty wouldn't bother you." I pouted slightly. I could literally feel my lower jut out. "And so what, you do look pretty, it's not a crime to point that out."

Bella didn't say anything for the longest time. "Are you sure you're not gay?"

"I told you I wasn't."

The silence was killing me. Because I couldn't take it, I looked out into the sky. The sun was starting to set. I couldn't admire its beauty, I was too flustered. Now what? Bella basically held all the cards and pretty much decided the rest of my school life from now on. Was she vindictive?

"So..." Bella finally said something. "...is it alright if I just pretend you're a boy so we can finish our date?"

"Huh?"

"You were right about the date being important to me. It took a lot for me to ask you out. So I seems wrong just to end it like this. I mean... we went this far, right?"

"I'm okay with that... if you really want to that is?"

I wish I could say I understood, but I didn't. Even if she said that, everything was out in the open and it wouldn't be the same.

Regardless, Bella slipped her hand into mine and faced the sunset along with me. We didn't say anything, just watched as the sky's hues changed colors. She leaned her head against mine affectionately and it was all I could do not freak out. Part of me liked it, the other part was a mass of confusion.

"Could you walk me to the bus stop?" Bella asked once the sun slipped behind the horizon. "I've never been out this late before and I'm a bit scared."

"Alright."

Bella giggled.

"What?"

"I guess I can't pretend you're a boy anymore. I feel so silly for not seeing it."

We walked out of the park. Even though she said that, she still clung to my arm. She probably was just scared. We talked little on our way to the bus stop.

My mind was filled with so much fragmented thoughts it was just chaos. There was no cohesive thought to be had. When we arrived at the station, we waited for the bus.

"" Bella started... Thank you for the date. It really meant a lot to me, even if it turned out a bit weird."

"Yeah." I didn't know what else to add. It did turn out weird. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything before."

Bella shook her head. "Don't worry about it."

She looked like she wanted to say something more but she didn't. I didn't want to pry. The only thing I wanted to know is if her opinion of the day would change when she got home. That could be bad for me. Then out of nowhere she giggled.

"What is it?"

"I got to second base with you, and we didn't even kiss."

"Huh?"

"Earlier in the park..." Bella elaborated and pantomimed squeezing my boob.

"Oh! Uh, yeah that happened."

"You're embarrassed!"

"Not really."

"You are so!" Bella giggled again. "Was it the first time someone's done that to you?"

I didn't answer, I guess the look on my face told the story.

"I'm your first then. It's payback for not telling me sooner." Bella winked, speaking in a playful voice.

"Story of my life. Skipping first base and being groped by a girl. I guess I deserved that."

"So you never did have a boyfriend then?"

She didn't have to rub it in, but I nodded never the less.

"Me either. I guess we're both losers."

"You're not a loser. You're so pretty you can be with anyone." I told her without thinking.

"I'll never work up the courage to ask someone else out. Look at my track record. Knowing my luck it'll be another girl. Maybe not one as nice as you. She'll start spreading stories around and everything."

I wondered if she was worried that I would be the one to tell people about what happened. As far as I was concerned she had the upper hand and could be the one saying I tricked her.

"Let's make a deal and promise not to tell anyone about this."

Bella must have not been listening. She was looking down the street at the bus arriving. People were starting to form behind us as well. I felt suddenly awkward.

What would happen now once we separated? Would we pretend and not know each other or would my life be changed with everything thinking I was some cross-dressing pervert?

"Well this is goodbye for now." Bella interrupted my thoughts, as her bus pulled up.

"Ah, yeah. Take care of yourself."

Bella turned to go, but stopped for a second, then turned around. As quick as lightning she pressed her lips to mine. I don't know why, but I didn't stop her.

The world seemed to stop and she seemed to be attached to me forever. Then the world restarted and she was on the bus, waving at me as it sped out of site. What the hell just happened?