I Love You Ms. J!

Chapter 19: The Break-up!

Thankfully Aiko had nothing more to say on the matter and just sat with me in silence while I tried to choke down my lunch.

Even though I hated her guts sometimes, it was nice to have someone just next to me. When lunch was over she tentatively told me I could talk to her whenever I wanted, and gave me her number.

I finished out the rest of the day in somewhat over a daze. I couldn't really concentrate on anything, I just kept thinking of Bella.

I forced myself to focus on other things, but if it wasn't Bella's face I saw, it was the other woman. The other woman... how preposterous. I thought.

When I left the school I had a feeling in my stomach that I'd run into Bella at our usual meeting spot. I stopped, unsure if I wanted to face her just yet. Dread filled me. Eventually I'd have to face her. I swallowed and summoned all of my courage and went on.

Sure enough, there she was. She still looked slightly pale from her illness, but was just as pretty as ever. My stomach was doing flip-flops when her eyes turned to me, zoning in on mine. Those eyes that betrayed me.

" Jessica... can we talk?" She spoke in a slightly shaking voice.

I nodded.

She took me by the hand. I wanted to swat them away, but as she led me away I just followed quietly. She took me to an outdoor cafe.

Maybe so I couldn't cause a scene and just leave on her... I don't know. We ordered some tea, but sat wordlessly as I saw her trying to work out how to explain everything to me. I just wanted to leave.

"Who was she?" I forced myself to say, just trying to get Bella to hurry up and get it over with.

"Deanna G." Bella said automatically, as if she was on some kind of truth serum. "She's in some of my classes."

"I see." I looked away, unable to take her gaze.

"She confessed to me a week before I c-confessed to you." Bella went on. "I accepted her, but I was scared. I thought maybe I should ask out a boy because-"

"-you didn't want to be a freak." I finished bitterly.

"Nothing like that... I told you I'm fine with girl relationships. But I never thought I'd be in one. I thought I'd try out asking a guy. Only he turned out to be you.

So here I was, dating Deanna and starting to get to know you. I only was just going to go on that one date...but..."

"So you were trapped huh?" I tried not to sound angry, but I wasn't doing so well at it.

"Y-Yeah. At first I just went along with what Deanna wanted because I didn't have the courage to say no. I never went out with anyone before and it was really nice.

But our date turned out so great and when we kissed... I knew there was something there. Things just kept leading to another and before I knew it I had two girlfriends."

I couldn't say anything. I wanted to hate her, even if I could understand her reasoning. She was the shy type, it must have been hard for her. But at the same time she should have just picked one of us. I couldn't help but be angry at her.

"Both of you are special to me." Bella was still staring at me. "It kills me that I hurt you."

"Who are you going to pick?" I blurted out. Even now, I'm insensitive about this sort of thing.

"I'm sorry,  Jessica." Bella's eyes were away from me now. I found I missed them. "I care for you a great deal, but Deanna was first... and I love her. I already told her I was going to... to break up with you."

"I see." I started to get up. "Sorry if I messed things up with her."

" Jessica ..." Bella looked at me pathetically. "I'm so sorry! Can you ever forgive me?"

"I don't know." I couldn't look at her anymore. "I changed everything for you... I... I.."

I don't even remember leaving. I was just walking. I can't even remember if Bella said anything to me as I left, or if I paid for the tea, anything.

My life was shattered right then and there. I didn't even know where I was until I was snapped back into reality when I saw the other woman, sitting on a swing looking thoroughly depressed and red eyed. She saw me, and both our tear stained eyes met.

Somehow I ended up sitting on the swing next to Bella's Girlfriend -- Deanna-----

——- Now, what's next???——- Na.experience na ba ninyo na makatabi ang jowa nang ex moh?—-