South Park Road Trip

Chapter Two: New Orleans

"Jimmy, do you even know how to ghost hunt?" Bebe asks grabbing flashlights at a gas station.

Jimmy appears into the aisle Bebe is in with a lighter in hand,"Actually n-no," the two walk to the checkout and purchase twelve flashlights, some snacks and a lighter.

"Do you think we'll see any ghosts?" Bebe asks, carrying the cheap plastic bags carrying their supplies.

"P-prob-probably not," Jimmy says struggling up the camper steps, "d-don't worry Bebe I-I got this," Bebe watches as Jimmy positions his crutches to get himself up the stairs. Boy has some mad upper body strength. The two trail into the camper. Kyle takes the bags from Bebe when she enters.

"How many flashlights did you guys get?" Butters looks up from his phone with a crooked smile.

"Twelve," Bebe shrugs, plopping down on the couch next to Kenny.

Cartman grabs a flashlight from the bag Kyle is holding. He presses the on button, seeing that in works. A smirk forms on his face as he shine the light in Kyle's eyes.

"How much have you had to drink tonight,"

"Up yours fat boy," Kyle brings his knee up to Cartman's balls. Cartman drops to the ground, clutching his crotch in pain. Kyle stomps off to the bedroom to hang out with Stan and Wendy.

"We're here," Tweek announces looking back at his friends, noticing Cartman on the ground. Looking back at Craig with a raised brow. Craig shrugs getting up, Tweek following suit.

Craig knocks on the bedroom door, telling everyone to get their asses outside.

Once everyone is outside Kyle passes everyone a flashlight. Twilight skies approaching. The last light fading over the tombs in the graveyard. Wendy and Stan intertwine their fingers, holding their flashlights in their free hand. Clyde gets on his knees and begins examining dirt.

"Guys. It's safe to say that there are no ghosts in this dirt," Clyde gets up, brushing his shirt off.

"What if I get possessed?" Tweek entangles his fingers in his unruly hair.

"You'd be the first to know," Cartman rubs his hands together, trailing away from the group.

"Craig could fuck a ghost," Kenny giggles to himself, earning a smack in the head from Bebe.

"Tweek. Don't listen to them. You won't get possessed. They're just idiots," Craig wraps an arm around the panicky boy, letting Tweek cling to him.

"I can do this," Tweek's voice wavers,"let's go," the group heads out; aimlessly walking around the graveyard in the dark.

"I don't think this is working," Token says running into one of the tombs; falling down. Clyde runs over to the boy, offering him a hand to help him up,"thanks." He groans.

Wendy looks around the group, noticing Cartman is missing. She recounts the amount of people surrounding her, getting eleven every time.

"Hey has anybody seen Cartman?" Wendy asks, scanning the expressions of the group.

"Eric is lost?" Butters asks,"shouldn't we go look for him?"

"Fuck that." Stan rolls his eyes.

"Stanley." Wendy scolds, reminding him not to be an asshat.

"Fine. Screw that."

Wendy sighs, settling with his response,"Okay. Well let's split up. One group can look for ghosts and one can look for the dumbass who got lost,"

"Gee, I'll look for Eric. He'd kick me in the ass if I didn't," Butters rubs his knuckles together anxiously.

"I like Cartman I'll come with," Clyde places his hands on his hips.

"Ew, why would you like Cartman?" Token wrinkles his nose.

Clyde shrugs,"He's nice to me I guess,"

Kenny and Kyle exchange a look and nod at one another.

"We'll come with," Kenny chuckles, following the rest of the group.

The two groups set out, searching for their respective monster. Clyde began sniffing at the ground, trying to get Cartman's scent. The other four exchange weird glances at one another.

"Clyde has a dirt fetish," Butters whispers to Kenny.

"Clyde, you're a dirty girl aren't you?" Kenny snickers as Clyde looks up at him, a blade of grass hanging from his nose.

"That's not helping guys," Wendy tsks when Clyde picks up a scent.

"Follow me," Clyde skips towards the camper. The others trail behind, losing interest in searching for the fat asshole. Clyde takes exaggerated steps up the stairs into the camper. Slowly opening the creaking door.

"Clyde?" Cartman gets tackled into a hug by the other brunette boy.

"I thought we lost you," Clyde sighs in relief getting up, accidentally bringing a knee to Cartman's groin.

"SON OF A BITCH,"

"Oops," a deep crimson dusts over Clyde's face in embarrassment,"I'm sorry."

Cartman remained on the ground wincing when the others finally entered the domain. Clyde held his hands up to chest defensively. Wendy immediately pulls her phone from her pocket, texting Stan, letting him know they found Cartman. Slowly Cartman crawls up onto the couch, flipping off Clyde in the process.

"What are you doing in here fatass?" Kyle leans up against the wall, crossing his arms.

"Not hunting faggy ghosts,"

"Whatever,"

"I can smell the sexual tension. You boys need anything a snack or a condom? " Kenny winks. Kyle blushes in anger and Cartman's eyes go wide.

The room goes silent.

"I'd like a snack," Butters whispers shyly, looking down while rubbing his knuckles together awkwardly.

The ghost gang bursts into the camper. Craig holds the door for Tweek, letting it shut in Stan's face.

"Move I'm gay," Craig pushes Clyde with one hand, his other hand holding Tweek's. Tweek whispers 'sorry' to Clyde.

Token walks in lasts, soaking wet, "I hate Louisiana, " stomping off to find a towel.

"What's up with Token?" Wendy sits down on the table letting her feet dangle.

"Tweek thought he saw a ghost and accidently pushes Token into a river," Stan shrugs sitting down next to Wendy, resting his hand on her.

"Gah!"

"And he did," Craig defends his jittery boyfriend, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

"That's kind of gay man." Tweek looks up at Craig.

"Tweek...you smacked my ass on the way here," Craig slowly blinks.

"Oh. Right."

Bebe holds up the empty beer bottle; and the room goes silent. She gently places it on the ground giving it a quick spin. Anxious eyes watch the bottle as it spins. The bottle spins into a slower place, landing on Craig.

"We are going golfing in Florida. No questions asked," Craig kisses Tweek's hands,"nice and boring."

"That's kind of lame," a shirtless Token interjects, ringing out his wet shirt in the sink.

"I know,"

"Like - really lame,"

"That's the point,"

"Bu-"

"This stressed out Tweek and I like boring. We are going golfing," Craig snaps his fingers and leads Tweek to the bedroom.

"God damn,"