Sweet Night Lies. - Chim

Fake Hope - Chapter 14

she's sitting next to me asleep in the car. and the only thing i hear is the faint sound of lana del rey on the radio and cheryl's quiet snores.

she has put her heals neatly on top of each other horizontally where her feet should be but they are on the edge of leather seat that she sleeps on she brought her thin tanned legs close to her chest and faced her body to me.

her smudged eyeliner lining the outskirt of her eyelid flaring out onto her eyelashes. and the shadows casting underneath cheekbones. the glow on her face changes from a red to a green.

i take my eyes off her and begin to drive again on cold empty streets. and i try to keep my eyes on the road and control my thoughts but i cant it's like im being crushed by thoughts of her and my legs are too slow and too helpless to out run them. is that why they call it a crush?

but i dont have a crush on cheryl. no she's my best friend.

-

i pull the cold handle of her door and she is still facing where im supposed to be. i let myself stare at her because i have this perfect opportunity just to stare as we're in the front yard of her house, my nose and fingers getting cold from standing outside in the frost of the night but i dont care.

i watch her chest rise then fall slowly as she breathes.

i gently shake her body and she breaths in loudly.

"mnnn" she groans. "kimba carry me." she says and i give in and put my arms around her tiny body the same way i did the time before and she wraps her arms around my neck again but with closed eyes. i close the car door with my heal trying not to disturb her drowsiness. i carry her to the front door as my mind goes crazy about her arms around me.

"chez i needa get the keys." i mumble. i gently bend down a little bit and put her on the concrete next to her front door. her heals softly land on the floor. she just pouts and goes to stand behind me.

i look in my purse, crumpling old receipts and ruining some makeup. and i finally find the pink glittery key labeled "chezza xx". the metal almost shining in the moonlight. then i feel her.

her thin arms wrap around my stomach from the back and she places both of her hands on top of each other by my belly button her fingers scattering over my tummy. the butterflies in my stomach go fucking crazy with their wings fluttering against me. she pulls me close to her and i feel her warm chest rise against my back and her cheek resting in my hair.

"i dont wanna fall again kimber-a" she whispers in my ear. i cant help but smile at how too good it feels with her body warming me from the late march air. and it's like a sad memory because it's too late and she's too drunk. too drunk to be able to remember in the morning and for her to even regret this but i will, i will remember and it's pathetic because she only likes me when her body is consumed by alcohol. and it's a stupid happiness and fake hope all in one moment with her body snuggled onto mine.

i slide the key in to the door knob not moving afraid she would flinch away. but she doesn't and i am too happy.

"in in." i whisper to her as the heavy dark wood door opens to her big gloomy house. and i cant believe she has moved in here the walls are bare of any paintings or pictures. and there's hardly any furniture in her dusty rooms. i guess we have just kind of lived with each other for a while

she looks at me with a smug look as she stands outside by the door. her eyes wondering down my body as she puts her tounge on her lips. suddenly i become very insecure. do i not look good in this dress?

her chocolate eyes almost close as she bites on her lip. so hard it goes white.

i wave to her to come inside getting impatient and some what annoyed. she lets her lip fall from her teeth as she takes a step inside looking down at her feet.

i slowly close the door not wanting it to slam against its frame and i watch as she helplessly leans on the wall pulling off her shoes from her little feet. i see small blisters left on her feet from her expensive french shoes. i watch her eyes squint and her eyebrows scrunch together as she looks down at her toes.

i walk closer to her and as i lean in to pick her up she quickly speaks.

"i can walk up the stairs kimberley." the words tumble off her tongue and bounce off the walls. her words are loud not too loud and defiant. i feel saddened by her words but shouldnt be.

"mhm" i hum quietly, biting down hard on tip of my tounge. i suck it up. im a fucking idiot she didnt ask me to. and that is why she left you kimberly because you're a fucking idiot and clingly like a needy child.

i quickly walk up the stairs letting her fall back behind me. her long slim legs crawling up the stairs. and i watch her from the top of the stairs i watch her slowly moving up them and the thing is she knows im looking at her but she doesnt look back at me she just looks at the next step.

when she reaches the top she walks right passed me into her room. and it is like all the others it has naked walls and just two bed side tables by the huge bed nothing on them not even a lamp. and i hate it when she does this. when she acts like she doesnt care and that she never did.

she opens her closet and i watch as she carelessly strips off her leather jacket and throws it on the floor behind her.

"i am going now okay?" i say loud enough for her to hear as i lean aginst the door frame of her bedroom door. she quickly turns to look at me with her hair wiping behind her and her curls falling on her back. she looks at me with wide desperate eyes. she walks to me her feet patting aginst the dark wood. and looks up at me with hope filled eyes her plucked eyebrows furrowed and her lips in a cute pout. the pink lipstick still staining her full lips.

"dont leave me." she mumbles her soft voice barely finding my ears. and i almost hate her words because she left me.

i just look down and nod not wanting to stare at her. and i just stand there not knowing what to do in my heals and red dress.

she turns back around to her closet and for a moment i think she is going to get undressed and into her pajamas but she doesnt. she picks out some soft cotton sweat pants and an over sized t-shirt from the closet. she sweetly smiles at the folded clothes in her hands then walks over to me still a little bit dizzily.

"here babe." she says holding the clothing out to me with her arms. i bite on the corners of my lips trying not to smile at her calling me babe. i take the clothes from her hands and she looks at me with something in her dark eyes i cant read. to be honest she had really nice lips.

"good night chez." i whisper as i straighten up and her eyes drop to the floor as she pouts at the floor. i think she wants me to stay with her. but what is the point?

"nighty kimba." she says under her breath. she reaches for the door knob and looks away as she slowly closes the door and i make my way to one of guest's room.