Sweet Night Lies. - Chim

Old Lace. - Chapter 15

"kimmmmmbaaaa." cheryl's voice sings in my ears. and i feel little strands of her dark hair tickling the tip of my nose.

"uhh!" i moan turning around in the pile of cream sheets with my hair crowding the pillow around my neck and head. i hear the floor creak and cheryl tiptoeing to the other side of the bed. there is silence for a few seconds then i feel the soft skin on chezza's finger tip tap on my right eyelid. she taps it three times then gently lifts it up making my eye open. and i see cheryl bending by the edge of the bed in a huge white sweater that says "food slut" on it with big bubble letters and it goes half way passed her bare thighs. she looks so cute looking at me like a im a baby with a wide smile on her face, her mouth slightly open with happy eyes.

i open my both of my eyes and she moves her hand on the pillow close to my face. i smile back at her and we both quietly giggle at each other.

"you feel good?" i ask looking into her eyes and she purses her lips and closes her eyes then quickly opens them and unpurses her lips.

"i feel kinda gross." she says raising her eyebrow and scrunching her nose up. she is so hot.

"aw chezza.." i say and she sits on the bed. i sit up as she looks at me and i put a piece of her hair behind her ear as she sadly nods her head at me.

"do you have shorts on?" i ask her and she looks at me with wide eyes and a cheeky smile.

"no."

"chez!"

"im kidding of course i do!" she shouts cutely "i kinda have to when people stay the night." she looks at me and winks. i cant help but smile she is so fucking cute and adorable. i could just f- what. no.

she looks forwards and i stare at little strands of her hair shine lighter shades in the morning sunlight and how it falls down to her waist. and the stark contrast of light on her face. and she is so beautiful and gorgeous and perfect. then it hits, i slept.

and i am just so happy in one moment and she is just there looking cute that i jump on her my extended legs laying on top of her slim crossed ones and i wrap my arms around her neck resting my body on hers making her gently fall onto back onto the clouds of fluffy old lace colored sheets and duvet.

"oh." she says taken by surprise but she doesnt hug back i am just hugging her pathetically while she just lays underneath me and i quickly stop hugging her and i dont even look at her as i pull away and sit up again. and she just lays there.

"what was that about?" she asks and i dont even know if she is mad i cant tell what streaks her voice as it leaves her mouth. i feel like shit. but what was i expecting a cute fucking cuddle party?

i just shrug looking at down at my hands.

"i'll drive you home." she sits back up on the bed. i feel worse i dont want leave i want to stay, with her and talk or watch movies or make cookies or just take naps knowing that she is there. but i dont tell her because she obviously doesnt want me to stay. i feel the bed move and the floor creak. when i think she is leaving the room to let my eyes fill with tears to wash out my eyes she stands in front of me. and she just stands there and i look down at the linen on the bed with a huge lump in my throat because she doesn't want me. she's too good for me.

"you know you didnt have to wake me up, you could have gone back to bed." i whisper fighting the tears as i look down. avoiding her inky eyes. i see her long legs standing in front of me with her bare feet on the cold wood floor and i notice little goose bumps on her tanned legs rising like tiny skin hills.

"smile." she lays her finger tips on the top of my shoulder ignoring what i just said and i almost wish that the piece of cotton fabric wasn't there from my t-shirt. her t-shirt. that i can smell her detergent on and she bends down so that i can look at her but i dont. i dont do anything i dont say anything, i dont allow myself to. for a moment it's like someone pressed the pause button and time is still and all my messy and confused and stupid thoughts are away from my brain. blurred from importance. her messy hair framing her face with her dimples tucked away and lips parted.

and she stands back up again and i look down. i can tell that she wanted me to look at her and i dont even know why i didnt. maybe i couldnt. i dont watch her as she walks out.

maybe she likes this.

maybe she likes all the oblivion and complication and tension because it makes her feel better. it makes her forget about all the real shit. and she likes to use me as her unlimited drug that she gets high of off when she is low then lets me burn into ash on the end of rolled paper.

-

i sit on the cold granite counter top. letting my feet fall from the edge and she doesnt look up from the boiling kettle. and i look down at the black granite acting like i dont care. that is what we always do it is how we communicate, with apologies and acting like we dont care.

she probably honestly doesnt care and i am just too in love with her to face it. too in love with the way she kissed me. too in love with the way she smokes and wakes up and puts her face in my hair.

i try to keep my eyes down as i watch her out of the corner of my eyes pour the hot water in two taupe mugs. and i watch as she puts the kettle back and puts the dry tea bags in the mugs. and i realize how many fucking times we have done this and how tiring it is. maybe this is why she left. she said it, because she was tired of going in circles.

i let my eyes fall to her bare thighs, she is such a tease. cheeky bitch. she walks to me with her big sweater hiding her tiny frame. i smile at her as she hold out the mug in front of my hands and i take it with my fingers and palms burning at the touch of the hot mug against my skin. i quickly place it down on the counter next to me scrunching my eyebrows together and pouting.

"it's hot." she giggles holding her mug to her lips drinking it straight up and i dont even know how she can drink it like that. bitter and still boiling hot. she looks so cute as she looks at me as she takes a sip keeping eye contact but i let my eyes fall from hers. because i look gross with a no makeup and morning hair and eyes still laced with sleep.

"how can you stand that cheryl? oh my god." i say as i look back up at her and she takes a step closer to me that i can feel the skin on her bare thighs press against my knees covered by sweatpants. we are just one layer apart.

she looks down at the counter top and puts her tea by mine. she look back up in my eyes, her hand finds its way to my wrist and she strokes it with her thumb tenderly.

"i like it when it burns my tongue. i like feeling when it burns the roof of my mouth and my throat and i can almost feel it burn inside my tummy." she breaths out and i feel her breath mask on my face making me lips tingle and my cheeks go a slight red. she pulls away and walks to the fridge taking out a creamer a pours it in my tea and she knows how much i like in it.

she picks my tea up and brings it close to her mouth and blows on it. her eyes almost look closed as she looks down into the brown tea lightened by creamer. her lips form into a perfect little 'o'. she is so beautiful without all the makeup her long eyelashes bordering her almond eyes and dark shadows casting under her cheekbones. i cant help but smile at how cute and caring she is.

she extends her arm to me trying to give me the tea and i reach out for it letting the warm mug press against my palms. i look at her and smile.

"better?" she looks back at me smiling shyly back and i nod slowly. she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth and bites down on it i watch as her slowly lets her lip fall from her teeth making her lip white by her teeth as it slowly bleeds into a strawberry pink.

she turns away and i dont make myself look away as she puts the creamer back in the fridge.

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AN: okAy I kNoW the chapters have been shit lately and i have not been updating as often and i am not going to make excuses. i just have been really lazy and tired and uninspired. anyway thoughts?