Finding Me (A Joe Sugg / ThatcherJoe Fanfiction)

Chapter Twenty-One

"You're such a jerk Joe I can't believe you would even suggest something like that!" I punched him in the shoulder and he winced.
"You're so strong!" He laughed. I laughed along with him and realized how good we were really getting along. I know it's been a few days since we broke up, but I have gotten over the fact that he slept around in his past. The fact that I wasn't his "first" made me upset, but I realized now that he loved me and he wished he could take it all back so that I was. He was such a beautiful man with a long road in any industry he wanted and I was so jealous of him. Fame, money, good looks, and he even had a good singing voice. I was just glad I was with him...
"Let's play a game," I suggested. Breakfast was over two hours ago and we just stayed in my bed until Dr. Clifford would tell me the good news. Or so I had hoped.
"Sure babe, what game would you like to play?" He asked holding my hand and squeezing it every so often.
"Twenty questions?" I asked rhetorically, I knew he would say yes.
"Sure! Do you want me to start?" I nodded my head.
"Alright, who was your first boyfriend?" He asked, I already knew where this was headed.
"Justin, he was my high school sweetheart," I said looking at him sincerely," who was your first girlfriend?"
"A girl named Caroline, I dated her in like primary, so I don't really think it counts, but to me it did!" He laughed, " what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"A teacher, and I still do. You?" I asked.
"A roof thatcher, now that sounds goofy and weird, but I'm serious," I gave him a confused look. What is a roof thatcher?
"What's that?" I asked quizzically.
"You know how people have hay on their roofs, well people like me do that for them," he poked my nose and I stuck my tongue out.
"Gotcha! Um... " I was thinking of a question when Dr. Clifford walked in.
"Hi doctor, so what's the good news?!" I asked smiling and laughing. God, I just wanted to leave the hospital so bad, they totally creep me out.
"Hello Marilyn, can I talk to you alone for one minute?" He said taking down his glasses and setting down his clipboard.
"Sure, yes. Of course, Joe," I motioned to the door.
"Yeah, erm, alright. I'll be waiting for you until you're done," he kissed my cheek and left.

--

"Alright Ms. Stewart, how are you feeling today?" He asked pulling a chair up next to my bed.
"I'm doing fine, did you find anything out about my tests?" I asked curiously. To be honest, I didn't know whether or not I wanted to find out if it was good or bad.
"Actually yes, that's why I wanted to talk to you..." He pulled out his clipboard and laid it on his lap staring intently at me.
"So...?" I sat up and fiddled with my thumbs while he very patiently read my results to himself before telling me.
"Marilyn, this is hard for me, and probably for you... There are many treatment options for you in this stage.."
"Wait wait, what are you saying? Am I going to die? What's wrong with me Dr. Clifford? Cut the shit," I was really upset. Why was he talking about treatment options? I started to sweat and my blood pressure went through the roof. I cradled my head in my hands and ran my hands through my hair. This was bad news.
"Ms. Stewart.. Marilyn, you have cancer," he said breathlessly. I stared at him in disbelief. There was no way, no possible way. I was a healthy eighteen year old, I never smoked or did drugs, I didn't drink a lot... Something was wrong.
"There's no way doctor, I'm fine. I feel fine. I don't have cancer," I said grabbing the sheets with clenched fists.
"Marilyn, I know this is difficult for you, but it's true. You have to accept this and move on. We can send you through an MRI to make sure the cancer hasn't spread anywhere else..."
"Where's the cancer?" I asked with teary eyes.
"It's in your heart Marilyn. Your cancer is called 'Angiosarcoma of the heart' which is medical terms for cancer. Your soft tissues around your heart are cancerous which is why you probably feel short of breath and dizzy sometimes... It also explains the reason you passed out while we took your blood. We have to give you an MRI or something of that affect to make sure that the other tissues are not cancerous. If those tissues are cancerous, there's nothing we can do. We have to stop this and fast," he said looking at me with determination. I just couldn't get over this whole thing. I have cancer.
"How did I get it?" I asked wiping tears away from my face.
"Well.. We don't know actually.. This type of cancer is very rare, so we don't know the causes of it just yet..." I stared at him in complete shock and started crying really hard. I couldn't take it anymore. I might die.
"Can you leave me alone?" I asked grabbing the blanket and covering my face with it. I was hopeless. My life was over. I'm dying.
"Sure, would you like me to bring him back in here?" Dr. Clifford asked as he exited the room. I nodded underneath the blanket. The door closed and in the next minute it opened again with the sound of a clap.
"Alright beautiful, I'm taking you out, what do you want? Nandos? Pizza? Whatever you want," Joe's voice was so angelic. How was I supposed to tell him the news? He would simply die.
"I want ice cream," I said under the blanket. I hurriedly wiped my eyes so he couldn't see I was crying. I don't want him to know what's wrong, at least not yet.
"Babe, what are you doing under there?" He lifted up the blanket and laughed at me," you're so beautiful."
"Thanks. I'm going to tell the doctor I'm ready to go," I said standing up.
"Alright. So what was the news? Good news I suppose!" He said wrapping an arm around me.
"No news just yet, they haven't got a response yet. He said he would call me with information," I lied. Telling Joe the truth would ruin him, and I could not ruin someone as fragile as him, not again.
"I told you, you wouldn't die," he smiled and kissed me as we walked out of the room. Yeah, I thought, not yet.
---
Coffee flavored anything was my favorite. Especially ice cream. I got a double scoop of mocha flavored ice cream and he got a triple of strawberry and we sat down outside of the ice cream parlor eating. In the back of my mind I kept thinking about the doctor and what he told me. I have cancer, and it might not go away. I might die. I couldn't let Joe know about this because it would ruin his life. First I broke up with him and now I'm dying... Or could stay alive with major health problems. Either I had to let him go for sure or I would stay with him throughout all of this. I don't know what I should do and I'm majorly confused at the moment, all I know is that I have to stay strong and deal with this internally before I can tell anyone. I have to make the first major step by myself before relying on others.
"I love you," I said without thinking.
"Where did that come from, that was totally unexpected," he said licking his spoon.
"I mean it Joseph, I really love you. I want to get back together again. I don't know why I dumped you in the first place. I didn't mean anything I said. The past few days at the hospital reminded me how good you are for me and how I need you in my life from now on, so Joseph Sugg," I got down on one knee, "will you be my forever boyfriend?" He laughed because I was mocking him from when he asked me out but I think he found it comforting nonetheless. He stood up from his chair and I stood up as well.
"Yes," he whispered. I hugged him and we kissed. Something felt different about this kiss than any of the other ones we have had. It felt like I was rushing it.
"Let's go home," I smiled at him grabbing my half finished ice cream.
The road home was strange and unfamiliar to me although we have drove down the road a million times. This was a whole new me. I looked out the window and saw people out on the streets already drunk at four in the afternoon and I started crying. I don't know why I was crying, I just knew that I couldn't be as carefree anymore as I have been. Luckily Joe didn't see me cry on the way home, but he could definitely sense that I was not feeling very well. Every so often he would beckon for my hand and squeeze it and tell me how much he loved me. When was the right time to tell him? I couldn't. At least not now.
"Home sweet home," he said pulling into the driveway. I rushed out and stood by the door.
"You're a little eager," he chuckled unlocking the door.
"Well I hate hospitals," I said to him. Yeah, and you would never guess why.
"Well I love you," he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me all the way upstairs, which was dangerous, but very sexy.
"Oh do you?" I teased him. He lifted up my shirt and rubbed the bruise on my chest.
"I like that birthmark of yours Marilyn, it makes you unique," he said kissing me hard. Well, it's not a birthmark... I bet it's a side effect of the cancer.
"I like your..." I cupped his member and squeezed it through his jeans.
"Oh trust me, I like it too and it seems like it likes you," he kissed my neck and fumbled with the button on my pants. Just then there were two voices from the downstairs and I was half naked.
"Shit, this happens all the time we try to get somewhere," Joe mumbled and escorted me to his room. There I put on an oversized sweater of his and went out into the living quarters to watch television. He came out after me wearing a tank and sweatpants.
"Next time Marilyn, I swear you're mine," he kissed my earlobe and it sent shivers down my spine.
"JOE!" Caspar yelled from the staircase they both embraced each other in a hug that definitely lasted over two minutes.
"Hi Mary," a little voice called. I looked to see Layla coming up the stairs.
"LAYLA!" I yelled and ran over to her.
"Mary were you and Joe having sex when we entered because we were kind of eavesdropping..." Joe hit Caspar in the head and I smacked Layla.
"No we weren't," I said rolling my eyes at her.
"Well I am seriously so busted from this Jet Lag, we are going to catch up tomorrow okay?" She hugged me and followed Caspar into his room.
"They are so cute," I said to Joe. He shrugged and hugged me tight.
"I love you so much," he said kissing my softly.
"I really love you too." That's why I'm protecting you.
"Aw can I get another pic please," Caspar said seeing us in an embrace. Joe kissed my head and we pretended not to see Caspar.
"This is so going on Twitter and Insta," he said flopping on the couch and posting it. I rolled my eyes and sat next to him.
"Where's my hug loser?" I asked. He jumped on top of me and hugged me.
"MARILYN I MISSED YOU SO MUCH HOW ARE YOU, HOW WAS THE HOSPITAL!"
"It was okay," I said not as enthusiastic as he did. He noticed something was wrong and pulled me in to him.
"You can tell me some other time," he whispered in my ear and let me go.
"Let's order pizza!"

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Alright my lovelies, I hate to say it, but this is really when the book takes into flight and orbits the moon 2892286364832901 times. The support you have all given me means so much which is why I decided to upload twice today (yay!) and reply to all the comments. You all deserve so much more than just a chapter a day, I wish I could upload 24/7, but y'all know I have work and homework so that would be crazy.
Speaking of crazy, Kris and I have come to a conclusion that once this book ends (sad, I know) we will be making a sequel if you guys enjoy it that much and would like to read more! We already have ideas down and are ready whenever we want to cut this thing off (which won't be for awhile)... But we would like feedback through messages/comments saying "hell yes you should, I need some Sugg!" or "nah I'm good."
Your comments really help us determine whether it's in the best interest of the readers or not. As a sidenote, we love you all. There have been two very loyal readers who always comment and I would just like to shoutout to them (you know who you guys are ;) ) you always have the wittiest comments and I absolutely adore reading them, it's almost a story on their own.
As always, have a good day and night and dream about a dirty Sugg... Or a dirty member of 1D... Or 5sos...
-Court (and Kris reading 5sos imagines on Tumblr)