Finding Me (A Joe Sugg / ThatcherJoe Fanfiction)

Chapter Forty - One (part 1)

Joe was released from the hospital earlier the next morning after a hard day. I felt extremely bad that he had to stay in that hospital all night and all day, but I stayed with him as much as I could... Until I got kicked out into the lobby. Once he was released I promised him some ice cream at our favorite ice cream parlor that we frequently visited. It was the first place I had to make decisions about my cancer, so now would be a revelation since I am now cancer-free. Once we got to the parlor, curtesy of me illegally driving, we went to our favorite booth and order our favorites. Joe usually got vanilla, and I got a mocha chocolate chip. Coffee ice cream was definitely one of my favorites.
"Do you think they hate me for speeding things up with us?" He asked quietly. I looked down at my ring and then looked back up at him.
"No.. Shocked, yes. But they do not hate you," I grabbed his hand with my left hand to show off the ring, "we were meant to be Joseph."
"I know," he said shoveling up another scoop of vanilla ice cream and starting to put his spoon into mine until I realized and pulled my hand and the ice cream away.
"You may be cute, but you aren't that cute."
--- a few days later
Joe and I have been quite distant lately in our relationship after he was released from the hospital and the announcement of our marriage. Maybe we were rushing into this a little too fast and maybe he wasn't up for the commitment even though he said that he was ready for it. Every night we slept together in the same bed, yes, but the feelings- the spark- was missing in our relationship. Maybe it was because I had been feeling quite ill.
I had radiation every other day since I found out I was cancer-free and now I could tell that I was balding. There was a part of me that wondered if I was just some pity case so he would look good to the public, or his family. Maybe Joe never really got past Anna and was using me until he finally found her again... Speaking of, I needed to talk to Brandon, but without Joe knowing. I got uglier and uglier by the second and my hair was growing thinner before I knew it. Would Brandon always take care of me?
"Hello?" There was a man on the other end of the phone. That same voice that lured me in from the club and the same voice that beat up my fiancé and had him hospitalized.
"Brandon?" I asked. My voice quivered and I was kind of scared. I never had a good experience with him, but I had to somehow get through with it and find out what he knows about Joe.
"Marilyn, shit. Shit, Marilyn, is that you?!" He sounded excited on the phone, yet he sounded a little uneasy.
"Yes, hi. How are you?" I asked. I might as well be friendly with him..
"I'm doing good. Really good now actually, why did you call?" I could hear a female on the other side of the phone whining about food to eat. He covered up the receiver, but not good enough, and said 'I'm about to charge you if you eat food every damn time we have sex.'
"Well, I actually wanted to talk to you." My face was turning red and I was very nervous for what he was going to say in response. I prayed every second of this phone call that Joseph didn't come into the room.
"Sure Marilyn, do you want to swing by later tonight?" he sounded out of breath and the girl still complained on the other end.
"Well I was hoping to come by now..."
"Anything for you. Do you remember where I live?" He asked. 'Felicity you need to leave right now, or I swear to god you are never coming over for sex again.'
"Of course," I said and hung up the phone. I did not know if this plan was absolutely genius or it was going to be the worst mistake of my life.
Joe went out to film a video at Jim's house today and I did not expect him to come home. It seemed like ever since the hospital he didn't arrive home until the hours of the morning. I had become absolutely worried about him, but I realized that something wasn't adding up, and it was my turn to figure things out for myself. I grabbed some leggings and a long sweater to wear. The winters over in the U.K. were ones that I have never experienced from living in Wyoming, so I had to go out and buy new winter clothes. Walking to Brandon's house would be much easier than taking any form of transportation because then Joe would know I was out sneaking around. But I wasn't, was I?
Brandon's apartment was in view and I was nervous. I walked about twenty minutes to get here and I was absolutely freezing, but did I really want to carry through with this plan? What if Joe was not the man I wanted him to be? What if every night he had been going to see Anna behind my back? I exhaled and walked up to his door with intentions of finding out every last detail about a certain Joseph Sugg.
"Hi Mary, nice to see you. Please come in," Brandon said as he opened the door for me. His apartment never changed from that night I was here a long time ago. I took off my coat and hung it from his coat rack near the door. I decided to sit on his couch and wait for him to discuss Joe- this was going to be a long night.
"So, what did you need to see me for?" He asked bringing in a water for me to drink and a few snacks.
"It's about Joe," I said looking at him. He smirked at me, but then lost it.
"What about him?"
"Is he seeing Anna?" I asked seriously taking a sip of my water. I crossed my hands and he seemed to take a mental note of my ring.
"When I was over there, he asked me her address because he wanted to see her. But I didn't know you guys were getting married," he stated nodding at my ring. I shamefully put my hands in my pockets and squirmed around.
"Yeah.. Do you think he's gone to see her though?" I asked closing my eyes and yawning. He walked over to me and sat besides me.
"I honestly don't know Marilyn. I wish I could tell you everything..."
"You can," I said looking at him with a sideward glance.
"Joe and Anna were a match made in heaven, I'm telling you. I hope he is not seeing her because then you would be out of the picture.. Then you would be homeless and where would you go Marilyn?" He grabbed my hands and fiddled with my ring, "it's a beautiful ring Marilyn, but I could do so much better than him. I bet he's cheating on you right now with her." I took my hands away from his and I looked down at the ground. Tears were falling from my face because I knew it was true. I knew he was cheating on me with Anna because he was out every night and didn't come home to me.
"He never comes home," I cried. He put my head on his shoulder and he stroked my thin hair.
"I would always come home to you," he said in response. I stopped crying for a moment and looked up at him. There was something about Brandon that Joe didn't have, and that to me was the most exciting thing. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad after all.
---------- Joe's POV
"I can't keep doing this Anna," I said about the umpteenth time today. She just smiled up at me from the chair she sat in as I stood up to walk out. I could not do this to Marilyn, especially right now, but after Brandon gave me her address I had to go see her. In fact, I've been coming here many nights now just to see her. There was something about Anna that was so unlike Mary, but my conscious was just so filled with guilt I couldn't stand to compare them.
"You always say that Joseph," she laughed.
"I don't like when you call me that," I said turning my back to her so I didn't have to see her beautiful face.
"Why not?" She whined and grabbed onto my back pockets of my jeans.
"My fiancée calls me Joseph," I said looking at the ground. Nobody said a word, and then I felt a pair of hands slither up my torso.
"Could your fiancée ever do this-"
"Stop it," I said grabbing her hands before she did something I would have regretted forever. In fact, all the nights I've been over at Anna's house I have not cheated on Mary... I do feel guilty coming over here though, I do.
"Joe you loved it when I use to do things for you, and now you don't? Who has the best sex Joseph? I bet it's me," she bragged coming in front of me and blocking my view to the door. She was a vixen, and that's what I loved about her. Marilyn is so cookie cutter, clean cut beautiful girl, but Anna is so different from everyone and outspoken.
"You got more tattoos since I last seen you," I replied staring into her deep brown eyes. Her hands reached the sides of my face and she used her fingers to close my eyes. I did what she commanded and I heard shuffling going on. When she touched me back as a signal to open my eyes up, she was standing there, topless in front of me.
This was going to be a long night.
--------- Marilyn's POV
I kissed him, and it felt good. I just cheated on my fiancé and it felt good? I needed to see Joe, and fast.
"What's Anna's address?" I asked Brandon. He looked at me and sighed.
"There's a paper- top drawer of the desk right there. I knew that's what you wanted, but a part of me wishes that you wanted me," he sighed as I got up. I went to the desk and found a paper with an address on it.
"Do you think Joe would have cheated on me?" I asked as I put my coat on to go outside.
"No, he's too much in love with you. I guess we know where loyalties lie," he said rubbing his lips with his tongue. Immediately, I ran out and continued to walk until I realized I had no idea where I was going.
There was a car that drove past me with a young woman driver and she pulled over to ask me where I was going. I showed her the address and she said she knew of the place. I asked her where to go from my current location, and she told me to jump into the passenger seat and she would take me. Usually I don't drive around with random strangers, but for my sake, I had to. My head was spinning around so fast. What if Joe never cheated on me and I kissed Brandon? Would he hate me forever? We drove past Joe's flat and I sighed. How much longer is this going to continue. We drove on the same road for another ten minutes or so and made a bunch of winding turns until we got to a beautiful home with a bunch of land and a big fancy gate. I said thank you to the random lady as she dropped me off and I went through the gate to knock on the door.
"Hello," a beautiful woman answered the door and all she was wearing was a silk robe. Her hair was red as fire and her eyes were deep brown.
"Hi are you Anna?" I asked hoping this was the wrong address and that Joe did not love this girl who was ten time more beautiful than I.
"Yes, who are you?" She asked crossing her arms.
"I'm Marilyn, can I come in?"
"Sure," she hesitated. "Can I offer you anything?"
"Where's Joe?" I asked curiously as I looked around at her fine things.
"Marilyn?" He came out of nowhere and ran up and hugged me. Just what I expected from him. I pushed him away the moment he touched me.
"Are you kidding?" I asked stomping my foot down. He looked confused and then looked at the gorgeous girl standing besides us.
"What? No Mary, no," he started stammering. I could tell I was about to tear up again, but I decided this time it wasn't worth it.
"I'm getting all of my things and leaving," I said slowly and annunciating all the letters for him. I nodded at Anna and then I left. Joe ran off after me and tried to explain that he wasn't cheating and this was all some big misunderstanding. But how could I misunderstand a woman in a silk robe who was more beautiful?
"Take it," I said taking the ring off my finger and slamming it to the ground. I absolutely lost it. "Why do you think you can go around and sleep with her?! Never once have I done anything to have you hate me, and you go and do this?! We were supposed to get married Joseph, married. Now we aren't together anymore because you're a cheating scumbag just like my other ex boyfriends," I turned around to face him again," oh and by the way, while you were having sex with Anna, I went to go see Brandon. And we kissed- and I liked it." I turned back around and stormed off. He looked at me shocked, and for once in my life I did not feel bad.
---
"Damn Joseph Sugg, I hate him!" I said slamming the door shut to the flat. Caspar and Layla looked at me as I stormed in.
"What's wrong?" Caspar asked as I threw myself face down on the couch.
"Joseph, sex, Anna, ugh! " I screamed into the seats. Layla rubbed my back and Caspar lifted my head off the cushions.
"What now?"
"I went to see Anna and Joseph was there. She was in a robe for Gods sakes, a silk robe!" I screamed. I started tearing up again and they all pulled me into a hug.
"Did you ask him if that's what happened?" He asked.
"Well no, but I could tell!" I said getting up and going into Joe's room. I grabbed all of my clothes and put them in the suitcase I brought. The nice dress Joe bought me for my birthday? I am going to sell it in a resale shop. Maybe I'm the crazy ex girlfriend, but I think he deserves it.
"Think about what you're doing," Caspar warned me as I grabbed all of my things from the bathroom.
"I think our relationship is over and he's a cheating bastard," I replied wiping my eyes. Caspar hugged me.
"Don't forget me," he said kissing my forehead, and helping me pack my things up. I was surprised Caspar would help me pack since he and Joe are so close, but maybe I impacted his life so much the last six or so months.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked as I was almost done packing.
"Because you're just so sweet and you don't deserve this... I highly doubt Joe cheated on you- especially with Anna though," he replied folding up a shirt of mine.
"Why? I thought they were so in love?" I asked confused.
"Joe loved her. That was his first girlfriend- the first girl he lost his virginity to- but she did not love him back. Especially towards the end of the relationship. They both were out cheating on each other. Don't let the nice girl act fool you..." He said looking down at his hands. I could not believe what he was saying.
"You and her...?" I didn't finish my sentence and I looked up at him.
"It was one time- he never found out," he said cracking his knuckles and stretching his legs out.
"Cas, I won't tell him," I promised. At this moment he looked vulnerable and Layla walked in slowly.
"You're leaving?" She said sadly. I nodded and she sat on the floor next to me. "You left me once already, please don't leave again."
"We are done Layla. Joe cheated on me. You know there is no way in hell I would stay here." She silently nodded and helped me pack.
"Where will you stay?" She asked. I looked at her and then at Caspar.
"I don't know," I shrugged. Caspar then stepped out of the room and made a phone call.
"Joe loves you Mary, and he's going to be a wreck when he comes home and sees all this," she nodded to the half empty closet.
"Well it's his fault. Plus I told him I kissed Brandon," I said, and I instantly wish I didn't say it.
"Who?" She asked. I shook my head and said, "never mind."
Caspar barged back into the room with a big smile on his face, "do you know who Dan Howell is? Because I may have a space for you in London."
"Yes, I met him... He likes pizza, and so do I," I smiled. I got up and went to hug Caspar. "You are a lifesaver!"
"I like pizza too- we'll have a pizza party and not invite Joe." At that moment, I liked the sound of that plan, and it didn't bother me that Joe wasn't a part of it.

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I am actually crying because this is going to be the last chapter. This book has done so good and I just want to thank everybody for this experience. There will be a sequel, so don't freak, but I do want to finish my other fan fictions before starting the sequel. I am seriously so sad, and my heart is breaking into little pieces.
I dedicate this chapter to everybody reading this. Without you guys I would be nowhere, and I absolutely love writing this for you. I started writing this out for myself, but it has grown for you guys as well. Like I'm seriously in tears holy. I never want this to end, but unfortunately it has to :-(
GOD I AM SO SAD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE AND WITHOUT JOES SEXY BOD. :-((((((((((((((((((((((((((
I love you all so much, seriously.
-court.
PS. Remember that Q&A to the authors, yeah? Throw in your questions now for a chance to be featured in an upcoming Q&A chapter (free shoutout swagger)!!!!!! You can ask questions to Kris and I or to any of the fictional characters (Joe, Mary, etc..) and I'll answer it from their POV in the story. I expect some juicy questions because you guys are juicy.