Finding Me (A Joe Sugg / ThatcherJoe Fanfiction)

Chapter Seventeen

We opened the door slowly and carefully, careful not to let our secret slide through our lips as we giggled and kissed our way to the entrance.
"Joe, Marilyn?" Caspar called from upstairs.
"Hi Cas, it's us!" Joe called back shutting the door and locking it. He led me up the stairs and we re-enacted the scene when Joe asked me out.
"So now we're dating!" I said happily and Joe kissed my forehead. Caspar did not look shocked, but there was something in his eyes that told me he wasn't happy about some part of this.
"I'm really glad for you guys, I really am! Mary can I talk to you?" He pulled me into his room and locked the door.
"Do you love him?" That's all he asked. Yes, of course I love him. He was the only one I could possibly love and I knew that. There was no doubt in my mind that Joseph Sugg was the one and only. I shook my head in disbelief that he would even bring that subject up.
"Of course I do Cas. Joe is my everything, I mean we met a few weeks ago, but he is just so... My type," I said using my hands an unsurmountable amount of times.
"He has a past you know. He's dated many girls and has done things with lots of girls, I don't want you getting hurt. Out of all the people Joe had brought into my life, you're the only one I care about and I actually enjoy being with. I don't want you guys to break up or anything because I don't want to choose between my best friend and my new friend. It's hard to find someone like you Marilyn, and especially for Joe. He's been through a lot lately and I'm glad you're here for him," he looked sincere throughout his speech and I felt a lot of different emotions rise up in me. I was confused because I didn't know that he's been with a lot of different girls and that he was going through something, he always seemed like the reserved type, but to hide this from me? On the other hand I loved Caspar for telling me how he truly felt about this situation and taking my feelings into consideration. I stood close to him and hugged him. He didn't know what to do at first, but then he gave in and hugged me back. It was warm in his grasp and he confirmed everything he said within this moment of interaction. Caspar was a very handsome, nice, and sweet guy and I really loved moments like this that brings two people closer together despite any differences they may have had in their time together.
"That was really brave of you to say Caspar. I'm very proud of you for telling me how you feel and owning up to it. You're a wonderful man and I'm very happy that I can share this experience with you. Caspar, my sister is still available..." I breathed into his chest and looked up when I mentioned my sister. We both laughed and our eyes met. Something told me that in that moment this is when our true friendship formed. Of course, we were cordial before, but now, this was a real friendship.
"I may be interested," he held on to my shoulders and squeezed them as he led me out of the room. We saw a tired Sugg laying on the couch sleeping. I quickly walked into his room and grabbed a fleece blanket and walked back to throw it over him and kiss his temple gently. I looked at Caspar and smiled. Never in a million years would anybody understand my love for Joe. It reached far beyond anything I could've imagined and was way more magical than any fairy tale love story. No, our love could not be measured in days or months, even years, together. Our love was measured in happiness, pure bliss. When I smiled at him, or he smiled at me, that's when we truly loved each other the most. Kisses could not compare to the numerous times I have laughed at him or his jokes, although they were good. Every time I closed my eyes and opened them he was all I saw. I wasn't in love with the idea of love this time as I was mislead in my past. Joe was not a façade that would soon reveal a true form of some hideous creature, he was a real human who had feelings for me, and expressed them in ways better than all the men in the past. Since he was older than me by four years he had experience I never knew existed. He has had his heart broken many times, or so he's told me, and has also felt some type of connection to these girls; some type of love. Their love could not be as strong as ours is. Deep within me, within the universe, it was meant to be. It was fate we met while shopping and it was fate we talked in the airport. Although our conversations were short and sweet the first few times, I couldn't help but think that he knew what I was thinking. He would say the most perfect things to keep my heart racing and my palms sweaty, and that's when I decided when I was in love and how I could tell. Love to me is the moment when your heart won't stop beating fast, your palms get sweaty, and you can't stop thinking about the other. That's when I promised myself that Joe was my forever and I would do anything to keep him in my life: I would protect him from any dangers within the world.
"You going to bed?" Caspar asked me, getting me out of my trance. I nodded and slowly walked to Joe's room, dreading that he wouldn't be there to put his arm around me tonight. I closed the door and put on my pajamas. I could not wait to live my life this way, I thought as I laid down on his bed and closed my eyes slowly. This was where I was meant to be.