Late night thoughts

Texting

14th August 2018- the night after explaining to a friend why I rather calling than texting.

The banging of pots and pans never stops
The alarms never silence
The constant shouting that something is wrong
I beg for it to stop
I plead with the banging and the alarms and the shouting to silence
There's nothing wrong!

I need the silence
It's been days without it
I can't even fall asleep without it
I'm going insane
The banging stops my school work
The alarms interrupt my music
The shouting ruins my quiet time

The message was a little different
A fullstop.
That doesn't mean there's something wrong
Right?
It can't.
It was just a full stop
Maybe they didn't mean it
That happens sometimes
It could have been an accident

The banging shouldn't be getting louder
The alarms shouldn't be giving me a headache
Why is the shouting overpowering the tv? It's in my head
This is too much
Why do I even bother texting people?

Why does the word cool mean
I don't care in my head?
Why does a fullstop mean something is wrong?
Why does my brain set off alarms when someone abbreviates something when they usually don't
Why can't I just be normal?

Texting is hell for me
A word tells a story
Punctuation tells a million stories
A fullstop could mean a million things besides the end of a sentence

Is their reason for not wanting to call an actual reason? Or do they secretly hate me?
Does them saying cool actually mean cool or do they not care?
A sentence means anything but what they are actually saying

Maybe I should call them?
That would be easier
But I would need to text them first to ask
They may not want to call and feel bad so they say okay anyway

The alarms won't stop.
I need them to
I need to think without the loud noises telling me something is wrong
If they would just stop I could think straight

I should stop texting as much