25 August
Self care isn't always face masks and drinking lots of water while watching your favourite show
Sometimes it's sitting in a bath
Music playing
While you try and get your shit together
For hours on end
After a week of fighting through hell
Sitting on my own with my thoughts in dangerous
It leads me down dark places of tears and fear
And worry
But I needed that hour
I needed to sit alone in silence and sort out
What was real and what was
My brain over thinking
I needed to think enough that my music couldn't even be heard anymore
I don't do that enough anymore
Self care isn't always beautiful
Sometimes it's the most basic things
Like washing your hair
Or not spending Saturday in the pyjamas you wore last night
There was no face masks for me
No fruit water, No scented candles, No clean sheets or clean room
But it was enough
It was enough to sort through what I had been thinking about
It was a small victory in a massive uphill battle but it was still a victory
I pulled myself out of bed
I allowed myself to not be destroyed by my thoughts as I sat thinking of everything
That's haunted me over the week
Self care is ugly sometimes
It's rough
And can feel like it's not worth it
Until hours later when the storm has calmed for once
I feel calmer now
My shaking hands no longer prevent me from working on things I need to do
The whirling in my head has ceased
The battle with my thoughts has ended for now
My victory was small enough that no one will realise its a victory
But I still won
Self care isn't always beautiful
It isn't always easy
But it needs to be done
In order to win those battles.
YOU ARE READING
Late night thoughts
NonfiksiWaking up during the night because of nightmares or just on my own usually leads me down a path of thinking. So I write what I think and these are some of the things I have written. These are a few of my late night thoughts
