26th August
I don't want to hate myself anymore
I don't want to take medication to loose weight
I don't want to aim for a smaller body
I want to love myself
I'm over sitting in a doctors room and being told all my problems are because I'm fat
I'm over dealing with painful side effects of medication that I only take because I don't fit in the box society has told me to fit in
I want to eat properly again
I don't want to hide my stomach
I wish I wasn't ashamed of how I look
I wish I didn't depend on others opinions because my own is too negative
I want to stop changing who I am and learn to love myself
I've already started that
Loved ones who've told me I'm beautiful may not realise their impact
My friends who shout compliments when I wear swimwear around them probably don't realise how long I spent in the bathroom worrying that I didn't look good and how much those words mean to me
Knowing that I don't need to change to be loved has gotten me so much farther with loving myself than I realised
I can be myself
I can be weak
I can be vulnerable
I can show my feelings
And be loved unconditionally
The stretch marks don't need to fade
The scars that hold good memories don't need to be covered
The marks that tell a story of a life lived shouldn't be erased
Although sometimes I do pick out the flaws when I look in the mirror
I do poke at my thighs and stomach occasionally
I don't hate the person staring back at me as much as I use to
I don't want to hide myself away from the world.
I just wish I realised I didn't need to change sooner.
YOU ARE READING
Late night thoughts
No FicciónWaking up during the night because of nightmares or just on my own usually leads me down a path of thinking. So I write what I think and these are some of the things I have written. These are a few of my late night thoughts
