Red Queen One-Shots

Fade Modern AU - Growing Up

A/N: This is actually a prequel .

Mare POV

I wake up with a gasp. I squint at the sunlight, quickly occupied with making sure that I'm home and that I'm alone. The relief about this is embarrassing, meaning I've believed I really could've done something very stupid last night, like going home with my date, or bringing him here. It would've been easy, since I'm the only one at home for the next nine days while my parents and Gisa are on vacation in Mexico, my brothers having already moved out. And here I am, staying behind in the void between graduation, college and all that'll come after, to decide what I'll do with my life. But instead of finding myself, I hug my pillow at 1 pm, confused over boy issues.

I still feel his warm hands on my waist, his lips on my neck and mouth. He tasted of the fruity cocktails we had. No point to deny it, a look in the mirror assures me he's left his mark on me. Oh great, as if I don't look wasted enough. My hair, with its ends recently dyed purple, is a shaggy mess and my make-up's all-over the place. From the bathroom, I glance over my shoulder, as if Cal would magically appear after all. But no. Despite how it seems, despite the hangover lingering in my stomach, head, and muscles, I did say no to him. The memories are coming back. It came very close to it, because if I'm honest, I have considered spending the night of our fifth date with him, especially during the event. If only he'd never told me about that.

In the end, I decide for a run to chase off last night. Funny that I literally try to run away from my problems and decisions to make, but I guess physical activity is better than playing around with my phone. I don't fool myself with pretending I'd look up colleges or jobs again, because I know I won't. I mean, I'm sure I want to spend this year with work and travel, even if it's another kind of procrastination. But I know I'm not ready, and this is the best chance to live on the road and see the world, as I've always dreamed of. Then I'll have enough time and freedom to figure out if I want to study electric engineering ("that'll mean a lot of extra learning, Ms. Barrow, do you have the stamina for that?"), politics ("not many career options there"), or something "reasonable" and wholly boring like economics.

I won't feel bad for choosing freedom when the savings of my family, myself and my scholarship allow me to take a gap year – maybe I'll even earn some extra money during the time. But that isn't the reason, that is –

I curse. Just when I'm at the door, I realize I don't have the key. Great, that's the reason. I'm not even responsible enough to think of locking and unlocking the flat myself, as I'm still used to someone else being at home. It's strange to be alone here, although loneliness hasn't kicked in yet. I have my friends, even Cal, and for now, having the place to myself has been fun. But I gulp at imagining several months without my family. My lovely, chaotic family who always –

The bell rings, just when I've grabbed the key. I sigh, rushing to the door. Who I meet isn't some post guy or neighbour, but my brother Shade, with his baby daughter in his arms. Their sight alone lifts my mood immediately.

"Hi," he greets me. "Is everyone here?"

I grin. "You got the week wrong. They went on vacation three days ago." I stand akimbo. "There's only me."

"Oh." He flushes and curses silently. How controlled he is, since although the baby's only a few months old, he doesn't curse in front of her. "Well, I'd hug you, but I don't have a hand free." He winks at me.

"I've missed you too," I say, a little sarcastically. "Wanna come in?"

"I see you've been almost out anyway, and what's the point if there's no one else? Let's have a walk, Clara will like it too," he says and even baby Clara smiles back at him.