Red Queen One-Shots

Every Shadow, Every Shade

One year before Red Queen ...

Elane POV

Even the tenth pencil I tried didn't capture my imagination. I pressed harder and lighter, cursed silently at the eraser and used the sharpener after just a few strokes but the gleam on the paper couldn't match the shine of her hair, her armour, her blades, her skin, or the dark light of her eyes.

Finally, I snorted and raised my hand asking for the tutor - then he was already behind me before I'd looked into his direction, or called his name.

"Master Eagrie," I said, using the address only appropriate in this class, "do you have more pencils? The ones I have just don't offer the right shades ... " I went on talking although he could see for himself and divine my words. At least he didn't interrupt me by saying my own words before I spoke them myself. Other seers of his house never learned this basic politeness.

"You may use this one," he said, handing me a pencil and pointing, "there. And try another one for the armour. But to be honest, I'd recommend you try to shade more, much more. Make it darker to get more contrasts."

I sighed. "That wouldn't be accurate. Lady Evangeline is light-skinned."

He shrugged. "Right, Lady Evangeline is well-known to all of us." He sounded sarcastic, almost amused. "I'm merely intending to teach you, Elane, to try something new to improve. Or do you have a specific reason to make this a perfect portrait?"

I felt blood rushing up and blooming in my cheeks. I noticed his informal address as well as his insinuation. I did intend to make the portrait a gift to Eve unless I found another way to confess my feelings to her.

But when I looked at him - Roman Eagrie, my cousin - I didn't saw a person joking about me, but something close to empathy flashing on his face. As if he wasn't an art tutor in a class full of other young nobles but a friend offering to trust him. Which he was to me. A free-spirited friend, a little older but without belonging to my direct family was a refreshing, different, company.

"I'm undecided," I replied finally. "This is definitely not good enough, and I shall try harder, and heed your advice."

He nodded, smiling, and patted the back of my chair. Did he ever get frustrated about knowing what people would say and do beforehand? All I knew was that he used his ability for art. "You're one of the best here, Elane, if I'm allowed to say so," he added.

I inclined my head with acquired modesty. "Thank you, Master Eagrie." Then he went to another student.

Actually, I wasn't surprised to hear this. I was the second-best student in this class, solely bested Leticia, another Haven cousin. Our family seemed to have an innate talent for the arts and Roman likely inherited his from his Haven mother. Yet I wondered about the intentions of the rest of the class. Its purpose was rather recreational for Silvers who liked art as a hobby but I wouldn't be surprised if some were here to enjoy Roman's company for a different reason: Strikingly handsome, still unmarried in his late twenties and heir to is house, he was a desirable match for the seven other ladies in the class, all older than me, and I suspected the two male students harboured a fancy for him as well. It didn't bother me as long as they didn't disturb the lessons but I'd realized long ago that Roman, who was currently dating Reuben Osanos, didn't wish to marry anyone, be it man or woman, no matter how much everyone else wanted him to. So I rather mused on Roman's view of his students as he always remained polite and committed and avoided any tries of flirting.

I tried the new pencils and advice Roman had given to me on my drawing and the more I worked on it, the more I doubted my skill and the pose itself. I erased several areas I'd been proud of to create more reflections on Evangeline's armour and knew immediately they weren't accurate this way, not when I craved perfection in every shadow and every shade, as she deserved. Why was this so difficult, I should know how to draw light and shadows better than anyone! I would need to work more on this, change the lighting completely to make it look right and compelling, and research the metals she wore as armour. If I ever became content with this work to call it finished and present it to her, I wanted her to feel the graphite flakes that my efforts had fixed on the paper in this helpless attempt to convey my love for her.