Magic|Jesse Lingard

20. the talk

Take deep breaths Aura.

I paced around the empty studio waiting for Jesse to text me that he was here.

Although I'm on holiday, I went back to an old studio I used to help out at when I first came over to the states.

I lived in Florida for a few months then went to LA. This will always be my original home away from home.

I was drawn out of my thoughts by my phone buzzing. Jesse had texted so I lock the studio and headed to the car park where he was leaning against a Mercedes Benz 4x4

I walked up to him and stopped not too far, but not too close.

"Hey" I whispered shyly, knowing that this evening was going to be very difficult.

"Come 'ere" Jesse held out his arms an I instantly ran into them.

I held back the flood of tears that seemed to always be behind my eyes. I held on tight not knowing how we will be after we talk.

"Let's find somewhere to chat shall we" he suggested

I smiled, nodded and I brought him back to the empty studio.

We sat on the floor and were silent for a while until he broke the silence.

"Why didn't you say that you weren't happy before you left?" He started at the ground playing with an imaginary piece of dust.

"I didn't know until the meeting. I guess it was a trigger" I mumbled

"You still didn't have to leave, do you realise how many people you affected?" Jesse's voice became a bit harsher

"I know that you and Marcus--"

"For fuck's sake, it's more than Marcus and I! You hurt Kyle, Winksy, your family and your fans" I was taken aback by the outburst

"I know I hurt people Jess...I just didn't know until it was too late" I defended

It was true, at first, I thought it would be fine and that I could just come back as nothing happened. Now I see how naïve I was in thinking that.

Jesse scoffed before he continued:

"Are you seriously playing the victim right now? Aura, you've done so much damage back home, it's ridiculous. We lost the last two matches at the world cup because we were worried as hell for you. All you left was a few notes, when we first saw them Marcus thought you killed yourself. Speaking of Marcus, we don't talk anymore because your selfish ass caused him to blame me... And now you expect me to want you back in my life just because, what, you were pregnant with my child?!" I sat in shock as Jesse spilt all his emotions

I hadn't realised the real damage I had caused

"were you ever going to tell me...about the baby?"

I sat in silence as I had no idea what my answer was.

"I--I don't know. Look, Jesse, I'm so sorry I hurt you like that. I know I dragged so many people into my personal drama and I feel so bad. I'm not asking for you to take me back...but I'm asking that you can forgive me."

I finally looked up to see him looking at me.

"I forgive you, I love you too much to leave you. Just please, don't hurt me again" I nodded frantically whilst wrapping myself around him tightly. I whispered my apology into his ear as he chuckled and pulled me closer if it was even possible.

When I let go of him I stared deep into his eyes.

"I missed those ocean eyes of yours"

He smiled before I continued:

"When are you going home?"

"We are here for a few more days then we head back to England."

"I'll book a flight," I concluded

Jesse gave me a funny look before I explained:

"I talked to you, now it's Marcus's turn...and he will be a bit hard to fix my issues with."

I submerged in the feel of guilt as I look back on how the past few months must've affected Marcus.

"Do you want me to come along to help,"

"Nah he's my brother. I fucked it up, therefore I fix it"

Jesse nodded and stood up.

"Let's go home, yea."

I grabbed my bag and we went to Jesse's car. At first, the ride was awkward but then it relaxed when he placed his hand on my thigh like when we were together.

I melted at the small gesture and returned a smile.

For the rest of the way, we were catching up and joking all the way back to my flat.

Jesse pulled into the car park and walked me to my door. We stood in silence for a while before I spoke again:

"I am truly sorry for what I've done. I should have thought before I acted but my mind was in its mode where it does shit and then regrets it later and--"

I was cut off by the familiar feeling of Jesse's lips on mine. It was a quick, soft kiss but the emotion was there.

"Aura?"

"Yea?"

"Shut up" I laughed at him whilst he beamed down at me

"I love you and although we may not be together again I will always love you" I nodded before going to open the door

"Do you wanna come in for a bit, I think Halle ordered pizza"

Jesse smiled faintly before replying:

"I'd love to but I still need to get my head around all of this so I'll text you later" he kissed me on the cheek before turning to leave.

I smiled to myself as I opened the door. However, I was greeted by Halle stood at the door with a box of pizza looking suspicious.

"Uh, pizza delivery?"

"Were you spying?"

"Yes."

I rolled my eyes and laughed whilst taking a slice of pizza.

"Soooo, tell me everything!" Halle exclaimed

This is going to be interesting