the note (JAEGAN)

chapter 33

Justin

-

just as i thought, raegan pulls to the side of the road and turns the car off as he starts rubbing my area. i bite my lip and he pulls me onto his lap, taking his hand out of my pants. i straddle him as he puts his hands on my hips. i bite my lip as he just stares at me.

"what?" i ask.

"you're just so fucking sexy." he whispers.

i blush and put my hand over my face, covering it. he starts rubbing my thighs again and i close my eyes, putting my head back. he leans in and starts kissing my neck, leaving little love bites. i put my hands on his shoulders and try to contain myself. i sit up and he puts his hand back in my boxers, rubbing me again. i let out an almost inaudible moan and i feel him smirk against my neck.

he puts two of his fingers in me and i roll my hips against his causing him to let out a low groan. he takes his fingers out of me and tries to take my pants off but we're in a small car and i'm sitting on his lap. i roll off of him into the passenger seat and slide my pants and boxers off as he takes his off as well. i get back on him and he looks up at me, asking my permission.

"raegan mother fucking beast just let me ride you." i state.

he chuckles and i grab him, slowly sliding him into me. i moan loudly when he's about halfway in. he puts his hands on my hips and i start bouncing up and down. he starts sucking on my neck, leaving a few hickeys i'm sure. he bucks his hips up, making himself go deeper inside of me. my eyes roll into the back of my head as the wave of intense pleasure hits me.

after a couple of seconds i feel him cum and i feel myself release on him. we ride out our highs and i roll off of him.

"well damn." i say, out of breath.

"right." he replies. i put my boxers and pants back on and so does he.

the next day •

Raegan

•

TRIGGER WARNING

i wake up and get out of bed, walking down stairs. it's like 2 am and justin wasn't in bed.

"baby?" i ask. i get no response and i look in the downstairs bathroom but he's not in there. i look in the kitchen, then go back upstairs. "jay?" i ask with my voice cracking a bit. i hear the bathroom sink running and i go up to the door, it's locked.

"babe! let me in!" i yell. no response.

"justin blake let me in right now!" i yell again. still, no response. i throw myself into the door and it immediately opens to reveal the sink over flowing. i look at the base of the sink on the ground and there's faint streaks of red. i follow it to justin's seemingly lifeless body and a pool of blood surrounding him. he has deep gashes in both of his arms, his thighs, and his stomach. he's lost a lot of blood.

"hey, hey, hey! stay with me!" i say to him. he hasn't passed out yet. i get up and run back into our room
and get my phone, dialing 911. I run into the bathroom and sit in front of him. his eyes start to fall slowly just as the 911 operator picks up.

"911 where's your emergency?"

"2075 Gorman Street."

"okay what's going on sir?"

"uh well my boyfriend has lost a lot of blood."

"okay we're sending some people out. do you know how he lost the blood?"

"h-he tried to kill himself." i say.

"okay sir. the deputies are about five minutes away. stay on the line with me. how is he doing?" she asks.

i look back at justin and he's struggling to keep his eyes open. i tell her that and she tells me to get his attention and try to keep him awake. "justin please. stay with me baby." i say. he opens his eyes.

"i-i'm s-so sorry..." he whispers before his eyes close completely. i drop my phone on the floor and get on top of him. i grab his shoulders and sit him up straight.

i put my hands on each side of his head and make him look at me. his eyes open slightly but close right after.

"justin please don't leave me. i can't bare the thought of not being with you everyday. please!" i yell hysterically.

i'm shoved out of the way as paramedics pick justin up and put him on a stretcher. everything and everyone sound like they're talking underwater. it's all muffled.

the next thing i know i'm being put into the back of an ambulance next to justin on the stretcher. i feel the tears running down my face. but i really don't care. all i care about is justin right now.

at the hospital •

justin just got checked in and he's in the operating room for emergency surgery from all the blood loss and from how deep the cuts are he has to get stitches.

a few hours later •

it's been about three and a half hours and i haven't stopped thinking about how justin's doing.

"raegan beast?" i hear. i look up and see a male doctor that i hadn't seen before. i stand up and run over to him.

"is he okay!?" i say frantically.

"he lost a lot of blood, raegan."

"yeah i know! i'm the one that found him! please just tel me he's okay!"

"he's going to be okay..but he's going to be transferred to St. John's. it's a sui-"

"i know what St. John's is. i've been there before." i state, very annoyed.

"ah...okay well that's where he's going. he has to be there for seventy two hours at least to make sure he's not going to try to commit again. he's also going to have to go therapy for a total of... three weeks." the doctor tells me.

"what the fuck." i say and clench and unclench my hands.

"sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear but it's the best for him right now." he says.

"okay. fine." i sigh. "when is he being transferred?" i ask.

"in about.." he pauses to check his watch. "..half an hour." he finishes.

"can i see him?" i ask.

"of course. he's not awake yet though. follow me."

i do as he says and follow close behind him, taking a deep breath to try and calm myself down.

i'm so fucking worried..

ahhh i'm sorry! he's not dead! i promise!

anyways it's my first day of school 🙄 but it's ok bc we have homeroom all day except lunch lmao. k byeeee