the note (JAEGAN)

chapter 29

Justin

-

kale left with raegan and he hasn't been back so i'm guessing he's gonna stay with him..

i look down at the small leather box in my hand and slowly take the lid off. i stare at the sharp objects inside as i think of the promise i made.. i don't think i'll be able to keep it...

i reach in the box and pull one of the blades out. i twirl it around my pointer finger and my thumb. i feel tears running down my face as i put the blade back in the box, putting it aside and crying into my hands. god why can he just come back...?

i walk over to my bed and lay down, cuddling the one hoodie he left, as i fall asleep.

currently trying not to relapse.. fun lmao

i wake up a few hours later to my phone ringing.

i grab it and see the name.

Incoming FaceTime from MommaKenna🥀

i quickly answer it.

"justin what the fuck is going on?" she basically screams at me.

"woah woah what do you mean?" i ask as i wake up more, hearing the music in the background.

"why the hell is raegan over here drunk as fuck and acting like an idiot without you!?" she asks.

"he-he broke up with me.." i look down.

"oh my fucking god. i have to go."

"what why?" i look up at her.

"i'm gonna go knock some sense into his dumbass." she hangs up. i'm just sitting there shellshocked.

i get up and change into different clothes, putting shoes on, grabbing my keys, and heading out the door.

uGh guys lmao what

i pull up to kenna's house a few minutes later and get out of my car. i walk up to the door and hear yelling, mostly from kenna, and a little from raegan and kale.

i open the door and step in without being spotted. i walk through to the kitchen and see kenna and raegan in each other's face and kale at the table yelling and using hand motions at them.

"FUCK YOU BITCH!" raegan yells.

kenna raises her hand with a shocked look as she's about to hit him but i run in between them before she can.

"kenna! it's okay! he's drunk and probably high from what i can smell. he didn't mean it." i calm her down.

she looks down at me and hugs me. i hug back and she pulls away. i turn around and look at raegan and he tries to hug me but i back up.

"you can't just do that raegan. you can play with my feelings like that." i feel the tears well up in my eyes.

"i-i'm sorry babbbby.." he slurs.

i look over at kale and he puts his hands up defensively. "i didn't do anything." he says.

"mm ok." i say and look back at raegan. "leave kenna alone. she was just trying to help." i say to him and slip away, going towards the front door.

"bye kenna. i love you." i say.

"i love you too." she smiles as i walk out.

guys idk what's gonna happen next for this book but ima try

Raegan

-

i walk in the kitchen a few hours after everyone went to bed and i grab a beer from the fridge. kenna parents are away on business, the only thing they can do without fucking it up besides kenna. she's one of the things they did great on. she's an amazing person.

i sigh as i open the beer, taking a sip of it and sitting at the dinner table. it's about four AM and i couldn't sleep so i'm up, alone with my thoughts.. a horrible place to be..

this is rae's memories

~~

"raegan why'd you do that?" he laughs hysterically.

i laugh with him as i stand up.

"i-BAHAHAHAH!!" i laugh.

after a few minutes we both calm down. "raegan you're an idiot." he looks at me and giggles a bit.

"yes. i know." i laugh again.

he comes over to me and hugs me. i hug back and kiss his head.

"i love you.." he whispers.

"i love you too. and i'll never leave you. ever."  i whisper back.

~~

a promise i broke. fuck i need to stop hurting him. he's my best friend and boyfriend. i need to make things right again.

i don't even know why they would say that to him. it just got to me. i-i don't know why i left him like that. i shouldn't have.. fuck..

~~

"you bitch."

"you's a hoOOOEEEEEE." i shout.

"and you aren't?" he asks, sassily.

"i mean that's why i hang out with you. so we can be hoes together."

"riiiiiiggt.." he says.

~~

hes so damn silly. i miss it.

~~

"what the fuck!!!" he screams. i run over to him.

"justin what happened??" i ask frantically.

"he- she- ah!" he starts crying.

"calm down, it's okay." i wrap my arms around him. he hugs me back tightly as he cries into my chest.

i rub my hand up and down his back to try and calm him down. after a few minutes he pulls away and looks at me.

"he-she- they said i was nothing.."

"you aren't nothing." i wipe his tears.

"but they said that .." he whispers.

"it's not true jay."

"do you promise not to hurt me? like ever. you'll always be here and you'll never make me feel like they made me feel?"

"of course. i promise. i love you."

"i love you too." he cuddles up to me again.

~~

another one. god fucking dammit. i hate that i hurt him. i just want to hold him again. and kiss his lips. and make everything okay again...

a short chapter because i'm a lazy bitch:(

and i'm trying not to relapse.. so have fun with this chapter while i go watch shane dawson so i'll laugh :) byeeee hooooeeesss