Head Over Feet

You've Got It Bad

She walks back to the dining room where her mom and sister are.

"Sino yooooon?" Yel asks. "Si Ahar Jeeey?"

"Sinong RJ?" Their mother asks sternly.

"Wala Ma, manliligaw neto ni Dei."

"Tumigil ka nga dyan." Dei tells her sister.

"Hay nako Dei. Pagkatapos kumain, dun tayo sa office ko, at pag usapan na natin yang annulment mo para hindi ka na namomroblema dyan sa love life."

Her mom, always the straightforward no-nonsense person in her life, tells her.

___________________________

RJ stays in bed and feels empty and confused. A lot of thoughts run through his mind as Dei's words keep ringing in his ear.

Ano ibig sabihin nya ng hindi pa pwede?

Hindi pwedeng maging kami?

Ilang buwan nya lang naman akong studyante e.

i-drop ko kaya subject nya?

Lipat ako ng ibang prof next term?

Kaya ko syang ligawan ng magdamag buong taon habang buhay.

Di rin naman ako nagmamadali.

RJ goes down to the kitchen and makes himself a sandwich. After a few minutes, his sister joined him.

"O, Riz. Bakit gising ka pa?"

"Nagising lang, narinig kita lumabas ng room e." She said as she rubs her eyes.

"You want some?"

"Yeah. With Jelly please?"

RJ makes Riza a PBJ and hands it to her.

They both eat their sandwiches quietly.

"Buti umuwi ka this weekend, Kuya?"

"Namiss kita eh." RJ says smiling warmly at his baby sister.

She's still a baby in his eyes even though she's in high school.

"Pero bakit parang malungkot ka? May problema ba?"

"Wala. Pagod lang sa school. Daming ginagawa pag graduating na eh. Ikaw, kamusta ka?"

"Okay naman kuya. Malapit na entrance exams ko."

"Kelan nga yung sa Lasalle?"

"In 3 weeks, Kuya. Kinakabahan ako."

"Meron ka pa bang ibang inapplyan?"

"UP, Ateneo, UST."

"Lasalle or nothing dapat!" RJ teases her. "Kami pinaka magaling!"

"Asuuuus. Yan din sinasabi ng iba, sila number 1!"

"Totoo yung samin. May Coffee Bean kami sa loob ng campus, at may sarili kaming LRT station!"

The siblings continued the exchange of banters and ended up sitting on the couch side by side, with cups of hot cocoa.

"Hoy Riza. May nanliligaw na ba sayo? Tapatin mo ako."

"Bakit naman tayo napunta sa usapang yan, Kuya? Walang nanliligaw sa akin ano."

"Subukan lang nila. Ang bata mo pa ano."

"Kuya, 17 na po ako, okay? Chaka ano ka, tatay ko? Si Daddy nga sabi ok lang basta pakilala ko sa kanya eh."

"Well mas mahirap akong kumbinsihin kesa kay Daddy, lalo pag nasa Lasalle ka na na papasundan ko kayo ng manliligaw mo."

"Ahwow stalker creepy guy peg lang?"

"You have no idea. Kuya mo ako, akong bahala sayo."

"Hay nako kuya, wala pa nga yung imaginary manliligaw ko bugbog sarado na agad sayo?"

"Nililinaw ko lang. Kahit imaginary pa lang yan, dapat takot na agad sakin." RJ laughs at his sister as he shows her his arms.

"Eh ikaw, kuya? Anong update sa mga dinedate mo?"

"Anong mga dinedate. Wala. Wala na."

"Ano? Wala na? Eh sino kausap mo kanina?"

"Hay. Wala. Di pa nga ako tapos manligaw, basted na agad."

"Kung ayaw, eh di wag! Diba turo mo sakin yan?"

RJ wasn't able to answer her, and took his time in sipping his drink.

"O... Bakit natahimik ka? Nakoooo Kuya. Iba ata talaga tama mo dyan a."

"Ewan ko ba...."

"Ano daw bang problema, bakit ayaw sayo?"

"Di ko nga alam e. Minsan ok sya sakin, minsan hindi. Hindi ko alam kung gusto ba talaga ako o naaawa lang sakin."

"Bakit naman maaawa sayo, eh di ka naman pulubi??" Riza answers, trying to make her brother smile. But it didn't work.

"Hm. Sabi ko nga. Anyway, kuya, sabi mo sakin dati,kung talagang gusto ka ng isang lalake, tsatsagain ka nyan. Diba?"

"Oo..."

"Eh di ipakita mong gusto mo talaga sya. Marerealize nya ring hindi ka lang panay papogi. Mabuting tao ka rin."

"Talaga lang ha." RJ ruffles Riza's hair. "I can't believe ikaw nagbibigay sakin ng love advice... Babykungkung kita e."

"Yuck kuya ha wag mong ipaparinig yan sa friends ko. Basta. I'm just here. Sana sagutin ka na, para mapakilala mo na samin."

Riza leans her head on her brother's shoulder.

"Thanks Riz. Oo nga. Sana."

RJ puts his arm around her sister and turns on the TV.

"Ano gusto mo panoorin? Utang na loob sukang suka nako sa Notting Hill ha. Iba naman."

"Sige. Ito o, She's All That naman." Riza laughs as his brother rolls his eye at her.

Another chick flick movie night.

But RJ welcomes any distraction from the loneliness he feels because Dei.

Yet he needs to show her how much she means to him.

He needs her to look past their age gap and whatever it is that hinders her from being his.

He needs her to realize that he can be serious.

He needs her.

So bad.