The Cold Recesses of our Minds

1

I feel the cold air hit my face as the truck stops. I look at the men around me. Most of them are smoking but all of them are shivering.

"Anybody got a blanket?" One of the replacements asks. I nearly slap him. What a fucking idiot of course we don't have blankets.

"Are you stupid?" Liebgott snaps at the poor replacement. I smirk slightly and nod. I'm so cold it's actually hilarious. I hear men outside getting out.

"Let's go ladies," someone yells into our truck. Grumbling men come out of the truck. I sigh and jump on to the cold hard ground. The rest of the men follow. Small fires litter the drop off area. I grab my things and walk towards Captain Winters and Captain Nixon. Both are also freezing cold. I stand at kind of attention near them. Both of their backs are turned, they must be looking at a map or something.

"What is it Sergeant?" Nixon asks. I have a shiver fit before I answer.

"We aren't getting clothing or ammunition are we?" I ask. Winters turns around and looks at me. I'm pretty sure this guy can't hate people but if he could he'd hate me.

"I'm not sure we're even getting food," Nixon answers. Winters gives me a sharp glare before turning back. I nod to Nixon before returning to my platoon. Lipton and Malarkey are talking. I give them a nod. Lipton smiles back at me. He is probably one of my only friends honestly. Well him Malarkey and Webster. Sadly Webster hasn't come back from the hospital. I wonder if he will. I guess faced with that choice I wouldn't either. I sigh and sit down next to Liebgott. He's not really a friend but more of an ally. I crack my neck.

"What did Winters say?" He asks.

"He didn't he just stared at me, Nixon said we won't get shit," I sigh and lean back against the truck we sit on.

"Fuck," he whispers. Out of all the men he's the one that swears the most. It's funny, three years ago I was a proper young lady now I'm swearing and killing people.

Silence comes over us. I hear other people talking. Liebgott gets up and goes to talk to someone. I sit there alone. Not many people really know me. I stayed quiet most of the time.

I guess I stayed quiet after my plane went down on D-Day. I was the only survivor. I remember it like it was only yesterday.

****

"1 okay!"

"2 okay!"

"3 okay!"

I wait for six to come. Explosions shake the tiny aircraft. My heart beats with fear and excitement. I can hardly breath.

"5 okay!"

"6 okay!"

Suddenly the light changes. But no one moved. We all were terrified of jumping. That quickly changed as a shell hit 7 and 8.

"Let's go!" I yell. I throw myself out the plane and pull the parachute. I look up.

No one else jumps out. I watch the plane explode. I think I screamed, but I'm not sure if I even made a noise. I just kept looking up as the plane took a nosedive to the ground. I watch hundreds of other parachutes jump from their planes. I watch the earth approach me slowly. I was one of the better ones at this. I land my feet correctly as I land. I roll and take off my parachute. I reach for my weapons. I find the rope and pull.

A body comes with it. I nearly scream with terror. I let out a couple deep breaths. The poor boy has blood pouring from his chest and neck. He's obviously dead. His eyes are open looking at the sky, which is full of explosions and gunfire. I close them shut with my fingers and say a silent prayer.

All I can think is how lucky I am to have survived the jump. I fumble around in the grass looking for my weapons. I finally find them just as another paratrooper lands next to me.

I look over. I recognize the face immediately. I smile as Malarkey unclips his parachute.

"How goes it," Malarkey smiles as he sees me with my gun in my hand. I keep a grim look on my face.

"My whole plane went down, along with our CO," I sigh.

"Shit," Malarkey grabs his guns and prepares himself to fight.

"Ready?" I ask. He nods and soon we walk through the dark forest. Silence overtakes the air. I expected to die here on the ground anyway. It'll probably happen soon. I clutch my gun close.

I see something move in the shadows. I stop breathing. Malarkey makes the little noise thing let out a whispering noise. The same noise repeats as a couple of men come out. All from Easy. I let out a sigh as the men come to us.

"Hey it's Richardson," someone pats me on the back. I roll my eyes. I motion the men to follow me. I'm not a leader but they follow me anyway. We come to a river. I hear someone across the bank. I motion to kneel. We find a little shelter in the bushes. Someone scuffs the bush slightly causing the person or persons across the bank to stop. I watch as they put something to their lips. The little whispering noise comes again. I take out the little whistle and blow it. I motion them to go across the river.

I look at the person. It's Lieutenant Winters. Thank god! I smile at him pleasantly.

"Richardson," Winters nods.

"I think the CO might be dead," are my first words. Winters looks at me in shock. This would mean he would be the CO now. The rest of the day was us shooting into people and killing.

At the end of the day we all came together and drank and ate food. I followed Nixon and Winters. I needed to talk to them. I guess I needed to talk to someone about what happened.

I watch Nixon leave Winters at the end of the town. Winters stands there overlooking some fire. I walk up behind him.

I clear my throat and he turns around. I salute him as he realizes who I am.

"Sergeant Richardson," he nods and returns the gesture.

"Permission to speak sir," I kind of ask. It's more of a "I'm going to speak now." He nods.

"Will you be CO?" I ask. He looks away for a second before nodding his head.

"Thank you sir," I nod and turn away. I can feel his stare on the back of my neck. That was the first time that I thought someone knew the truth. That I was a girl.

"Ladies wanna help us or you gunna be lazy asses?" A voice comes from the real world. I snap my attention to the line of men walkin past us. They all look like they've seen lots of hell. Most of them look as though a magician put them in a trance.

"Hey where are they from?" I ask Malarkey. He shrugs as he takes the coat off of one guy. I watch the man cry silently as he trudges on slowly.

"My god," I see more wounded men walk through. Most of Easy Company is taking things from the men. Coats bullets any thing we might need.

"Lieutenant better take some while you can," Lipton calls to me. I shake my head.

"I'm alright, as long as I keep warm," I smile and walk away. I look at the huge forest as the snow falls.

The Germans have an advantage, a bulge in their line. They could kill us at any time. I close my eyes. Thoughts and feelings run through my brain. The loved ones at home. The loved ones here.

But if they knew the truth they wouldn't accept me.

I close my eyes as I remember a small line from a poem from John Donne.

"Death kills with too much cold" I whisper into the dark air as I watch my breath blows into the cold black night.