Dear Nobody

Entry 5: How Adrian and I Made Things Awkward

5.03 AM
Forgot to write anything for Sunday. I guess I didn't do anything special. Or have any thoughts worth writing down.

7.16 AM
I'm sweating so much. Disgusting. I hate sweating. It's so uncomfortable. But it's something I do all the time. I sweat when I'm nervous. And that's often. My fingers are leaving damp prints on the screen. My phone case is getting sticky. Yikes.

7.59 AM
Uh. I passed Hazel on my way to class. She said hi? What? Why? Is that a threat? Is she mocking me? No, she's not one of them, right? Uhm. Okay. And don't worry, I said hi back. In a squeaky, totally distorted voice. I can still hear it in my head.

Teacher's here.

12.03 PM
No drama today so far. Besides Hazel greeting me like I'm a celebrity this morning. Sad. I was hoping there'd be something I could talk about.

Oh dear. I wish I had a bottle of Sprite and a big, juicy burger. And fries. And ice cream for dessert. Not eating at school is hard. I just think, "Keep going so you can go home and eat." Home where it's safe and where I'm not judged. Home where everyone washes their hands and cares about hygiene.

3.02 PM
Gooooood. Please, let me go to sleep and never wake me up. New partners for chemistry. Who do I get? A nightmare. The evil forces are pulling strings again. I never wanna hear Adrian and my name in the same sentence again. LORD. That was so awkward. It was an exemplary Awkward Situation. Neither of us said a word. Did we get the work done? Kinda, after I went to our teacher and she helped us. That was also awkward. It was like it was a competition. The first one to talk would lose, which was me since I responded to the teacher.

Let me tell you something. Most of the people at school know each other because nearly all of us went to the same elementary and middle school. I've always strongly disliked Adrian Paul. He's a jerk. A bully. Maybe not really a bully now, but still a jerk.

One day, I was on my way to meet Stephanie outside the cafeteria. I saw that I was about to pass Adrian, Sean and a few others poppies. I panicked a bit. Almost forgot how to walk. Had to walk slower. One leg in front of the other. It's like a huge swarm of wasps closing in on a single human. And then.

"What's uuuup, Lisa baby?" said Adrian.

Insert eyebrow wriggles. Ew. Good thing I don't remember images well. So. Here's what instantly came from my mouth.

"Piss off."

Wow, Lisa Prescott said 'piss off'!

Adrian's friends just went 'ooooooh', teasing Adrian, and Stephanie was dying of laughter outside the cafeteria. I was embarrassed. Kinda regretted it because I thought my image was ruined and it was gonna be really awkward if I had to do group work with the asshole. But no poppies came after me. My words were never questioned. By anyone other than myself. Unless they've talked behind my back. I don't know if I'm relevant enough for that.

Anyway. Back to the present. Adrian didn't say a word to me, and I took that as a sign that I shouldn't say anything to him either, so I only responded to the teacher helping us. But. Does that mean he remembers? He hates me? He knows I hate him? Oh noes. Actually, I don't mind. A few weeks and we get new partners. I can survive.