Dear Nobody

Entry 3: How I Was Asked If I'm All Right

5.42 AM
Wow. Just wow. Really? A pimple now? Rude. Completely uncalled for.

7.23 AM
Yesterday's incident with the glove almost doesn't bother me anymore. I know the others' lives are too interesting for them to remember something so small. Not to mention some of them forget I'm even in the same class as them. If only I could be that carefree. Unfortunately, I prefer to know who's around me and what they're saying.

I'm in the restroom. This pimple makes me ten times uglier. As if I wasn't ugly enough. My bangs are getting kinda long. Glasses still fit. Shoulders look broader than ever. Tsk.

8.04 AM
Teacher's late. Thank you, God. Less suffering time. Oh. Stephanie just showed up. "He's coming," she says as she hurries to her seat, giving me a quick wave on the way. People who were chatting with friends across the room slowly go back to their own seats. And here comes our teacher. Sigh.

12.23 PM
Remember the guy I mentioned who once called my hairstyle ugly? The one who took the glove back? He got in a fight with someone during class. Lord. I owe him for reducing my suffering time. Anyway. I'm not so sure what led to the fight. All I heard before it happened was the other guy saying, "Dude, it's real fucking bad," and some seconds later they were shouting and then they jumped at each other. Our teacher tried separating them with no luck. Something cracked. Then No Offense, But Your Hairstyle Is Ugly started screaming.

So, an ambulance was called.

"Hazel, Lisa, go outside and lead the people from the ambulance to our classroom," our teacher said.

Why me, I cried internally as I got up from my seat and followed Hazel out.

"Crazy, huh?" she said as we walked down the hallway.

Crazy that she started a conversation with me, yes.

"Uhm, yeah, but how did the fight even start?" I asked.

She looked at me in disbelief. "You didn't hear? Sean wouldn't stop making fun of Ian's excessively gelled hair, so I guess he got mad. I'm surprised Sean didn't just beat him with some MMA-stuff, though."

"Wow," I said.

"Yeah," Hazel said, letting out an airy laugh. "Ian already has that knee injury from last year, so I guess that's why it's so serious."

I didn't know about his knee injury. There must be many things I don't know about the people around me.

We waited outside the school for some minutes in silence.

"Lisa, can I ask you something?" Hazel asked.

I was so surprised that I didn't know how to reply. This happens sometimes. My mind just completely freezes for a few seconds.

"Are you, like, all right?"

My mind: Gone.

"Yeah, I'm fine," was at the tip of my tongue. But something inside me wanted to say the opposite. What came out was neither.

"Why?"

Hazel's eyes widened. She started twirling her red hair. "It's just... I notice a lot of things. About people."

What is she? Psychic?

"Oh." I gave up. "I'm fine, though."

I'd like to know what it is that she's noticed about me. I don't like when people see through me. I'm the one who sees through people.

The ambulance arrived shortly after, and Hazel started waving her hands and jumping while I just held a hand up high. I'm glad she took charge like that. The people from the hospital brought out a stretcher, and then we led them to the classroom where our teacher had shooed everyone out but Ian, the injured. Some students from other classes were watching as well. Ian just hid his face with his hands when he passed everyone on the stretcher.

And that was that.

12.52 PM
"Everyone's talking about Ian," Stephanie came and told me a while ago.

"Really?" I said. "Is it that interesting?"

"It's not every day an ambulance is called to our school," she said, shrugging. "They seriously fought because of Ian's hair?"

"Apparently." I had to hold back a laugh there. "Or maybe because Sean can't mind his own business. Asshole."

"Wow, Lisa Prescott just said 'asshole'."

Oh, wowzies, girliez!

She left to buy some juice before the cafeteria closes. I wish I could eat and drink in the cafeteria. Sit with a bunch of friends that I get along with. Not be so scared of everything. But at the same time, it would be too hard. I can barely talk to more than one person at a time. How do group conversations even work? I'll just not think about it. Makes me nervous.

3.02 PM
Guess which dad is able to pick his daughter up from school today. It's Lisa's dad. I'll go get my bike.

5.03 PM
I'm thinking about the fight today. I must be a horrible person for being entertained while it was happening. Of course, I didn't want Ian to injure his knee. Which was already injured. And I don't like how Sean started the whole thing. Sean and Adrian. Those two I... strongly dislike. My mom says spending energy on hating people is a waste. And I feel bad for it. I mean, they haven't really specifically done horrible things to me, but they have to other people. So, for moral reasons, I dislike them. Is that fair? Well. As long as they don't find my diary and start bullying me out of anger.