Dear Nobody

Entry 21: How I Redefined 'Lisa Prescott', and Paid For It

7.49 PM
I don't think I've talked to Stephanie since Friday. She's getting real chummy with the poppies. Even her evil boyfriend has joined the squad. What do they even talk about? I've only heard them talk about stuff that happened at their parties. Well... they've also trash talked a bunch of people.

11.39 PM
I got an 'Are you fucking serious?' look from my teacher when I told her I hadn't made my presentation and wasn't planning on doing it. She said things like, "Then why are you here?" and "I certainly expected more of you, Lisa," and lastly, "Get out of my classroom if you don't want to participate." After the last one, I grabbed my bag and left.

Who cares about images anyway. This Lisa won't let a bunch of accidental molecules set rules for her. I'm gonna do what I want.

12.00 PM
God, what the hell now. Stephanie texted me, saying she heard that I've become a rebel. I have not. I'm just living freely. Sort of. I didn't have the conscience to go home although that's where I wanna be right now. I'd probably get in a lot of trouble. Actually, I'm probably already in trouble. Stupid systems.

1.01 PM
A group of poppies really shouted at me when I walked past them. They were like seagulls. LISAAAAA! WOOOOO! LISA'S NO GOODY TWO-SHOES! My poor ears. If news of what I did spreads to the other teachers, I'll be damned. It'll be so awkward seeing them.

3.06 PM
I walked past Stephanie. Made eye contact. She raised her eyebrows and looked away. The hell is she mad at me for?

4.54 PM
It seems like I'm gonna find out now.

Stephanie: I've been wrong about you this whole time

This doesn't smell good.

Me: ?

Stephanie: Do you think you're cool acting like some 4th grader brat?? I expected more of you

What the biggity wiggity hell is she on about?

Me: uhm...

Stephanie: Lisa Prescott really isn't who I thought she was. Can't believe I'm just noticing now how you've just been acting nice because you want people to think you're a good person when really you're just mean and selfish and only give a fuck about yourself

THE FUUUUUCK?

Me: how do you want me to respond to this...?

Stephanie: Don't brother we're not friends anymore. Oh wait we never were to begin with. Don't even think about talking to me ever again

Wow. Just wow. I don't even know what to say. I'm one big, bold question mark right now. What the hell?! I need some air.

5.12 PM
I have come to the conclusion that I have no idea what the fuck Stephanie was talking about.

I don't feel good. I've done a splendid job staying away from food since... Friday? I think that's when I last ate. My stomach and cheeks are getting thin. My legs and arms remain fat. Jeeesuuuus. I just wanna lie in bed forever. Stay away from school and Stephanie and my teachers and society. Fade away.

6.21 PM
A storm came through my front door a little less than an hour ago. It was my dad, telling me he got a call from my teacher about my unacceptable behavior in class today. Then I had to explain why I acted the way I did. "Ah, I've just recently realized nothing fucking matters, so I'm going to be a bird now." That would've been somewhat correct, but it's not what I said. "I don't want her to think she can just set rules for me and tell me what to do like I'm some underling." That was also somewhat correct, except I know that she's just following the system that's engraved in her human brain. My dad McLost his shit. Threw some newspapers on the floor. Scratched his head. Asked what's wrong with me. I said I'm tired. He yelled that he's tired too. Then he sat down, took many quick breaths and asked what he should do with me. I told him to set me free. No response. Then he said he was gonna wait for my mom to come home and told me to go eat something because I look like a skeleton. I didn't eat anything.

That was scary. That was really, really scary. He looked hurt. Because of his burdensome teenage daughter. Do you see this, organs? Maybe if you'd done your job, my dad wouldn't be in such despair right now.

7.09 PM
I never thought I'd see my mom cry.