Thoughts From 1:00 a.m.

Interested

Why am I crying over you?

Why do I get upset at the thought of you?

Why can't I get over you?

You're the sweetest human ever. You always make me laugh. I don't reassess my actions, thoughts, words, any of that. I forget about the world and all my insecurities. Your smile lights up the room, you're easy to talk to. But, why can't I get over you?

I'm through with 'If it's meant to be it'll happen.' I'm done with all the games. I wish I didn't feel the pain. I want hear you laugh and hear you tell me it's ok. I don't like that the closer I feel the farther we grow apart. Yes, you don't like me. I knew that from the start. Yet, I let myself get in too deep for me to stand. Now, I'm trying to find my way back to land. But, each time you drag me back and when I hear about your crushes it feels like a heart attack.

I can't help that your name on my screen makes me smile. Turns my bad day from grey to technicolor. I don't like that heart skips a beat when I see your face. If only we weren't this close I'd be ok. 

I sitting here wishing I didn't know how to feel. Maybe there's a way to forget what's real. Yes, my intentions make me sound crazy. I know I'm not the lady you've been looking for. But, you're what I've been looking for. And now I'll let it go...