Its scary, its not fun. I hate who I've become. I don't want you to see the person I turned out to be. I'm lost in a cycle of repressing emotions. Idling social anxiety in constructive and destructive behavoirs. Waiting for a chance to take another hack into my self-esteem.
Its not pretty, can't you see everything I tried to hide. All the things I kept inside. I fell into a hole of self doubt, my ladder broke, I'm losing hope, and the quicksand below only makes me slip more , nothing to grab onto and nothing to hold
Look me in the eyes and tell me it's not true. I've got all these emotions that I have no idea what to do with. The only way I let them out leaves feeling lost and only begin the cycle of self deprecation.
The voices take control when I lose mine. Do you ask yourself 'are you ok?' too often? I can't seem to get the words out without them being chocked out of my throat, they want me to admit that I don't feel secure.
They trick me into thinking that's it ok, sure. I'm scared of my intentions. I don't want to lose this fight. That's I stay every single night.
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts From 1:00 a.m.
RandomHere is a compliatiom of the things I think about at 1:00 a.m.
