one day

grow up

days spent dressing up
    and dreaming of being
a princess
an astronaut
the president
and a myriad of other things
are over.
why do we stop dreaming
once we've gotten old?
the possibilities shown to us
in the stars
are no longer visible
in that dark black sky
be realistic, we were told
and suddenly
our dreams and dress-up days
disappear in the wisps of the wind
our heart screams for the beauty
and romanticism that helped us
sleep well at night
but our minds firmly state:
we need to grow up
suddenly tests are being thrown at us
to determine if we're good enough to push forward
to begin our next chapter
and become prepared to be grown up
questions are flung at us from left and right
the battlefield of adolescence becomes deadly
as we are faced with bullets
that we must swallow whole
don't show any weakness
let it burn down your throat
and after your throat is scathed,
simply say you're fine
our lives are no longer as hypothetical as they seemed
when we were young
people smiled and laughed
saying how cute
when you said you wanted to be a writer or an actress
when you say it now
you can see the strain in their smiles
as they hold back the judgment
only reserved for people who
hold onto their dreams past their teenage years
the clock struck twelve
the impending doom has fallen upon us
we are eighteen
legally adults
going into college
you're expected to have a map
a map that details where you're going
how to get there
and it should be detailed enough
that it seems tangible
your decisions fall on your shoulders
there is no one to take responsibility
only you, yourself, alone
the mistakes you make
feel irredeemable
and the large meadow
with all this space to run around
and luscious grass to lay on
so you can fall asleep and dream
is gone
you've been put into a forest
where the tall, looming trees
obstruct your view of that perfect starry sky
the dreams and possibilities
you once saw in the stars are hiding
or perhaps you've become blind
in your aging
you have no room to move
the trees are making the space narrow
you have no place to go
and you're trying to move forward
move forward
think of your future
go for something practical
doing what you love won't pay the bills
don't become the black sheep
of the family
you don't want people to call you a bum
or a good-for-nothing
or worse
the most dreaded label of all
failure
you have to accept the truth you've been given
you have to face your fears
and the reality that comes with them
you have deadlines to meet
responsibilities to accept
and duties to carry out
your happiness is not guaranteed
and no, this is not optional
growing up is not optional
many before you and many now
have not had that grace
not had the grace of growing old
savor it
(even if it can suck sometimes. a lot)