teen mom||fillie DISCONTINUED

19

"jack don't drop another ornament!" finn yelled as him and lydia threw tinsel on the tree.

"i'll try." jack responded sarcastically. it was around 7:00pm and we were still decorating.

finn lit the fire place earlier and the smell of the cookies that jack and lydia made intoxicated the house with their sent.

all in all i'm pretty happy. though being with finn as friends makes me a bit sad, i never realized how much i missed him.

-

"mommy! i want to watch frozen." lydia yelled from the kitchen. her and finn were frosting the cookies. "okay bunny we can watch it."

finn and jack were already sitting on the couch when lydia plopped herself next to jack. the only space left on the couch was next to finn. damnit.

-

the movie has been playing for about twenty some minutes me and finn were having our own side conversation.

"why did you do it?" i asked softly.

finn raised an eyebrow at me in confusion.

"why did you cheat."

i could feel tears form again. i feel like every time i think about him it makes me heart flutter. why can't i just move the fuck on.

"because i'm an idiot that's wh-"

"no finn that isn't an answer. i want a reason. i thought we were good. i know ever since my kidnapping things have been rough, sexual whys, but you told me that didn't matter. finn you broke my heart and for what? a stupid kiss?" i could feel my brain just exploding with all my angry thoughts.

my mouth kept getting the best of me, word vomit i suppose.

"let's go outside. i don't want to disturb jack and lyd." finn scooped up my hand to which i pulled away. i could see finn let out a small sigh.

i grabbed a cardigan out of the coat closet so i would not freeze to death.

"so please finn just be honest with me." i was almost begging him by now. he took and in a deep breath and parted his lips beginning to speak,

"millie we were honestly perfect. what happened when you were abducted scarred you, and i don't mind waiting for you to become a little bit at ease with everything. when veronica kissed me it was out of surprise. i never thought she would. i kissed her back so i could see if there really was anything there. there wasn't even the tiniest bit of a spark."
finn took in another deep breath talking once more.

"millie when i lost you i couldn't eat or sleep for almost 3 weeks. my dad was thinking about sending me to a boys home that's how fucked up i was. i dated veronica because i felt like i needed someone to fill that hole in my heart you once occupied. turns out i didn't. millie you are all i think about. you are my everything, and losing you was like losing my mother all over again. i was and still am broken." finn's face was practically drenched in tears.

as was mine, his voice kept cracking while he was talking making a lump form in my throat for what seemed like the thousandth time.

i have that same hole in my heart. i can't stop thinking about him. he is my everything, well including lydia obviously.

maybe i really do need him.

"okay." i said blankly. finn looked even more confused than before. "finn these past two months have been hell. i was busy being mad at you i forgot i much i missed you, how much i needed you." i walked a bit closer to him. i took his much larger hand into my small petite hand.