158// MJ In The Bathroom At A Party

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So the story behind this is that Lilly dragged MJ to a party despite MJ protesting against it. (I haven't seen BMC, I just like the song). Lilly ended up ditching MJ, so MJ hid in the bathroom trying to not have an anxiety attack.

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"I'm hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall. I could stay right here or disappear,  and no body would notice at all..." MJ leaned her back against the door. She could feel an anxiety attack coming but held the tears back.

"I'm a creeper in a bathroom cause my buddy kinda left me alone. But I'd rather fake a pee than stand awkwardly, or pretend to check a text on my phone." She moved to look at her reflection in the mirror. In her opinion, she looked like shit. Her hair was coming out of its pigtails and her cheeks had a oink tint to them. Her eyes stung (Like they did earlier when I cut an onion. I literally spend two minutes crying about an onion while trying to keep my eyes open.) like they usually did when she held back tears.

"Everything felt fine when I was half of a pair! Now through no fault of mine, there's no other half there!" She touched the mirror hesitantly. Her mind placing an image of Lilly where her reflection was a moment prior. The image faded when her finger tips grazed it.

"Now I'm just MJ in the bathroom, MJ in the bathroom at a party... Forget how long it's been!" It was getting slightly harder to breath. "I'm just MJ in the bathroom, MJ in the bathroom at a party... No you can't come in!" She yelled as she faced the door.

She went and sat in the tub. "I'm waiting it out til it's time to leave and picking at grout as I softly grieve.." she flicked a little clump of dirt. "I'm just MJ who you don't know,  MJ flying solo, MJ in the bathroom by herself! All by herself!"

"I am hiding, but she's out there, just ignoring all our history! Memories get erased and I'll get replaced, " She looked at her lock screen. It was a picture of the two wearing matching outfits (I wish-)...  "with a newr, cooler version of me..." She shoved her phone into her hoodie pocket.

"And I hear a drunk girl sing along to Whitney through the door-I wanna dance with somebody!" she used a shampoo bottle as a microphone. Then she out it back, and got out the the tub. "And my feelings sink, 'cause it makes me think: now there's no one to make fun of drunk girls anymore!"

She could feel the anxiety attack getting closer. Her breathing got heavier as she pulled at her hair. "Now it's just MJ in the bathroom, MJ in the bathroom at a party... I half regret the beers.. MJ in the bathroom, MJ in the bathroom at a party... As I choke back the tears.." She held her breath for a few seconds as to keep the tears from falling. Unfortunately, a few escaped her burning eyes.

"I'll wait as long as I need, until my face is dry or ill just blame it on weed, or something in me eye!" She quickly wiped the stray tears, not caring if she ruined her hoodie yet again with salty tears.

"I'm just MJ who you don't know, MJ flying solo... MJ in the bathroom by herself!" She wiped more tears away as the attack came.

"Knock Knock Knock Knock!!"

"They're gonna start to shout soon!" She began to panic as her breathing got even harder.

"Knock Knock Knock Knock!!"

"Oh hell yeah, I'll be out soon!" She struggled to wipe the tears that kept coming.

"Knock Knock Knock Knock!!"

"It sucks that you left me here alone-"

"Knock Knock Knock Knock!!"

"In this teenage battle zone-" she pulled her hair more.

"Clang Clang Clang Clang!!"

"I feel the pressure blowing up-"

"Bang Bang Bang Bang!!"

"My big mistake was showing up-" She wheezed as she tried to catch her breath and calm down a bit. She walked towards the sink and turned it on.

"Splash Splash Splash Splash!!"

"I throw some water in my face and I am in a better place." She splashed cold water on her face then dried it off. She felt slightly calmer. "I go to open up the door but I can't here knocking anymore..."

She turned back towards the mirror. Her image looked even worse. Bloodshot eyes and tear streaks. Her hair a mess from her pulling it... "And I can't help but yearn for a different time.. And then I look in the mirror and the present is clearer. And there's no denying I'm just-"

She broke down crying. MJ sunk to the ground and let her anxiety take control of the steering wheel. At a party.. Is there a sadder sight than-" She started humming. "MJ in the bathroom at a party..."

"This is a heinous night.. I wish I stayed at home in bed watching cable porn or wish I offed myself instead! Wish I was never born!" She rolled up her sleeve to see old scars. Her friends had helped her stop a while ago.. She pulled her sleeve down and covered her hands with her sleeves.

"I'm just MJ who's a loner, so she must be a stoner. Rides a PT Cruiser.. GOD! She's suck a loser!" She yelled at herself. "MJ flying solo, who You think that you know.. Oh, by herself... Oh, by herself..."

She stood up, her legs a bit shaky. Her anxiety attack still there but not as bad. She made her way to the door and out on a fake smile. "All you know about me is my name. Awesome party, I'm so glad I came." She exited the bathroom and put her hood up.

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990 words! That's a lot, not including the authors notes!!!

Anyways, this was (kinda?) a vent? But I mostly did it because I love the song.

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