"σи¢є α ωσи∂єя¢σℓт; αℓωαуѕ α ωσи∂єя¢σℓт!" || My Random Shit #2 ✅

129// From The Heart.

I just realized something...

You don't realize how much you miss someone until they disappear from your life. How you want them back, how much you need them...

Sure, I was emotionless at the funeral. I didn't cry, I didn't show sadness. Hell, I didn't even wear black! I wore my old cardigan that I threw away an hour ago!

Because that's what they would've wanted. They wouldn't have wanted me to mourn, they would've wanted me to move on.

I should've stopped them! I should've been there for them! I blame myself for someone else's actions.

When I came home from the funeral today.. I locked myself in my room. I occasionally talked to people, did what I would normally do on my phone but...

I was breaking apart. I was yearning for the comforting hugs, the smiles and the god forbidden jokes. I miss them as a person.

They were my friend since sixth grade, and we were helping each other through our own wars. They moved to Michigan during eight grade, and I moved to Minnesota during summer of last year. The funeral was held near where I live so I could attend, the problem is; I was the only friend of theirs that attended their funeral.

I put a boutique of red roses and purple mum's on the grave because those were the flowers we made friendship crowns out of. I wore the outfit I wore the day I met them. Yet... I discarded the belongings that remind me of them...

I made a blood promise to them during the summer after seventh grade. Now I have to live up to that promise, and its not going to be easy...

I just realized how much I miss them...

I miss Karter...