Stranded {{Murdoc X Reader}}

Time to set sail

All I can hear is thumping.

My chest feels like it's about to explode, I sit there with my hands tucked between my thighs, unable to look up to him. I have no words to say right now, 'something about us'? I have such strong feelings for this man and I have no idea how he feels. Maybe he has noticed how awkward I've become around him, or how skitty I am when he enters my presence. I force myself to look up to Murdoc, his head hung low, his hands together, playing with his thumbs. This is a Murdoc I've never seen before compared to the crude and confident attitude he usually portrays. I can't tell if I'm making him feel uncomfortable.

He places his hands on the sofa, lifting himself up to sit with a straight posture and takes a deep breath, a sigh soon followed after.

"Bloody hell (y/n). Y'know, I've never found myself in this kind of position, for the love of God it's intense as hell, that's why I wanted to get it off my chest." He exhales after regaining his breath.

"I doubt it's all that important to you, however... I've never had a problem around a woman before. Most of the time it's easy to woo them and have a fun night with them mhmhm... But... You are really difficult."

"What, you trying to woo me?" My thoughts accidentally escape my mouth in a sarky tone.

"I can't woo you, that's the issue, it wouldn't be right. You know me, I'm sleezy and like to get my way. For god sakes I can't even plant a kiss on you without feeling bloody weird beforehand."

Kiss?! Maybe... He no longer views me as an intimate interest, maybe he sees me as more like a... family member... that thought makes me feel sick...

"You sound like your just struggling to get laid, Murdoc." I sigh. "It's not working."

"No no no! For crying out loud, I can't word this properly, can I?" Murdocs eyes dart away from mine and his straight posture drops, his shoulders slumped over and his hands dangling down between his legs. His face showed he was getting stressed out. I sit there awkwardly as ever, looking down at the floor. I'm coming across as I'm not interested even though I'm head over heels for this man.

"I'm teasing Murdoc, probably a bad time." I whisper.

"No, it's not the time." He snaps back.

"I...I am sorry." I say, feeling guilty.

"Oh god no." Murdoc perks up and turns his body towards me, placing his hands over mine and gripping onto them. "I didn't mean to snap, luv."

"I get it, don't worry. I'm sorry for taking the piss." I force a smile on my face towards him. My nerves begin to build up yet again, I want to run away like last time, I cannot deal with confrontation. I've never been good with connections, only friendly ones. Whenever I have been in the presence of one man I always want to flee, I'm scared of getting my heart broken, that's why I've never had a successful relationship.

One of his hands let's go of mine, trailing up to my face, cradling my jaw as he pulls my head up to meet his gaze. His fingers gently stroking underneath my jawline and along my cheek, his gaze gentle and loving, although he looks serious, he looks... sad.

"Tell me (y/n), have you ever had one person who makes your life just a little bit easier? That person who just... takes all your problems away and helps you forget." His voice begins to crack.

"I never had anyone to share affection with, luv. I didn't have a great upbringing whatsoever. I've had plenty of women, but no affection, that's just bloody sex. Feels good but means sodding nothing in the end."

Murdoc is opening up to me, and I have no idea how to respond over than grip onto his hand, grazing my thumb across it.

"I'm sorry, Murdoc." I say gently.