Alias- Jack & Laura

43) All I Need

"Oh, God," Jack whispered. He remembered that year, the barely concealed fear that came around the middle of every month as they all wondered who would be next. The first killing had been May 14, 1976, his wedding anniversary; the next to last had been March 16, 1977 his birthday; and the last was April 17, Sydney's second birthday. Six shot, three stabbed, two strangled, and one—Bill Vaughn, whose office had been next to Jack's—killed by a car bomb. He'd gone to eight of the funerals; Laura hadn't known any of the men and had had a small child to take care of, so he hadn't even thought of asking her to go with him. "The dates...they did that on purpose."

"Yes."

"Does the CIA know?"

"I told Dawson the other night. So you see why I was surprised that I didn't get the death penalty."

Jack took a deep breath. His colleagues, his friends...he'd wondered for four years who had killed them. Now he knew. He needed to get away from her, to think. He sat up. "I need to be alone," he said, and left the room.

***

Irina woke and looked around for Jack, but she was alone in the bed. She checked the clock and found that it was about 2:30. She sighed. She'd stayed awake for an hour waiting for Jack to come back to bed, then dozed fitfully for the next four hours. She got her crutches and got up to look for him.

She found him in Sydney's room, asleep in the rocking chair near their daughter's bed, bathed in the warm glow of her nightlight. She didn't want to wake him, but she didn't want to leave him, either, so she carefully lowered herself into a sitting position on the floor and leaned her head against his knee.

Some time later, as she was just beginning to doze off, she felt Jack shift above her; a moment later, his fingers tangled in her hair. She tipped her head back and looked up at him. He met her eyes and gave her the tiniest hint of a smile, and she smiled back. Then he turned his gaze to Sydney. "She's so beautiful," he whispered. "So innocent. I used to think the same thing about you. I used to feel so bad, telling you about my missions, the awful things I had to do. I didn't think you could possibly understand what it felt like to kill someone. Some part of me wanted you to understand, in some strange, sick way." He slid from the chair to sit beside her, hip to hip.

"I've always understood," Irina whispered back. "And some part of me has always wanted you to know how well I understood, too. I know there's no pleasure in it, even in killing your enemy, someone who would kill you, even though the adrenaline rush might sometimes make you feel exhilarated. But sometimes...sometimes it just has to be done." They looked into each other's eyes for a moment, understanding each other more deeply than they ever had before. Irina had until this point avoided making physical gestures, letting him set the pace as they rebuilt their relationship, but now she couldn't help herself. She reached up and ran her fingers across his cheek, his ear, the back of his neck, and then pulled his face to hers and kissed him deeply.

He responded, taking her head in his hands and pressing his tongue against hers. After what seemed a blissful eternity, they pulled apart, both needing to breathe. "We should go to our room," Jack said. She could see the desire in his eyes.

She nodded, suddenly craving his touch. He stood, and then surprised her by lifting her into his arms and carrying her back to their bedroom. "My crutches..." she said as they entered their room.

"Later." He lay her on the bed and seized her mouth once more as she fumbled with the buttons on his pajama top. He broke and reached for her nightgown, then stopped. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean..."

She made a sound that was almost a growl. "Would I be undressing you if I didn't want this, Jack?" She freed the last button on his top and pushed it off his shoulders.

"Good point," he replied, then helped her free herself from her nightgown. There were no more words after that, as they allowed themselves to be consumed by their hunger for each other.