Dragon girl

Chapter 6

It's been three days since I first got to the cave and those days were mostly filled with me crying over my past and me leaving Loki all alone. I'm afraid to go to sleep because of the nightmares that haunt me every time I shut my eyes. What are you doing back in Asgard? Are you alright? I suddenly hear in my head. Loki. I'm here because I needed to get away from Midgard for a few days and I'm fine. I reply.

"Are you sure?"

I spin around and see him standing in the entrance to the cave. I get to my feet and embrace him in a big hug, I start to cry in his chest. He rubs my back trying to calm me down.

"Shhh. It's alright, no one is going to hurt you. Can you tell me what happened?"

I look at him with red puffy eyes and nod my head ever so slightly. We sit down and I start to tell him about what had happened at the Avengers building and how I didn't want everyone to see how broken I was. Loki just sat there quiet giving me all the time I needed and if a tear happened to slip out he was quick to remove with his thumb. When I'm done telling him he just engulfs me in a big hug and hums on an old nordic song. It's weird for me because I have never seen this soft side of Loki, he is mostly cold and always irritated. But right now I don't care about how he acts because I just want to stay in this moment forever, where I am safe and I don't need to be scared. I want to stay here with Loki, in our old cave we spent a lot of time in as kids.

We spend the night in the cave before deciding it was time to for me to go home to the Avengers once again. I fly directly to the bifrost where I shift, say goodbye to Loki and step into the rainbow bridge that takes me directly to the field outside of the Avengers building. I stand there for a while looking at the building before slowly walk towards it. I am met halfway by Steve that's running towards me only to engulf me in a big hug.

"Where were you?" he asks.

"I was in Asgard. I needed time to think." I answer hugging him back.

He lets go off me and looks me in the eyes.

"We were worried about you, especially Tony and Peter."

"Oh right, Peter." I answer remembering that he for the first time saw me as a dragon when I ran away.

"Come on let's get you inside so you can explain what happened. If you want to, you don't have to if it's hard for you.."

"It's okay Steve. I can explain myself." I say interrupting him with a little smile.

We walk inside and up to the living room where everyone is sitting waiting. When we enter the room everyone stands up and I am immediately greeted by Tony who comes up to me and hugs me. (Geez, everyone seems to be in a hug mood today)

"Are you okay? You seemed quite upset when you ran out of the lab a few days back."

"I'm okay now and I'll explain everything for you, all of you." I reply seeing Peter look at me.

"We already filled Peter in with your past so he knows everything up til this point." Natasha said to me. 

I sat down on the small couch table so everyone can hear me. Natasha, Clint, Peter, Steve, Bucky, Tony and Bruce are waiting for me to explain why I just ran away like a child.

"So you're all probably wondering why I ran away like that a few days back and it was because I was afraid. I was afraid to show how broken I truly am and I was afraid to open up and show who I really am. I was ashamed of my past, what I had done and hadn't done."

I shifted my skin so you could see all my scars over my heart, back, arms and the one I had across my eye so they could see who I truly was.

"But in those days I was gone I had time to think and I have decided to tell you a bit about my past. For example about my scars. The ones on my back are from war mostly, sometimes I would fight for different kings and lords in the old days and I would rarely get captured and if I did they would always try to cut my wings off but they never succeeded. And sometimes when I was really depressed I would try to rip them off my own body and obviously it didn't work either." I paused and fought back the tears that was threatening to fall. I took a deep breath and continued.

"The scars on my arms has a similar story so I don't need to tell you about it. And the scar on my eye is from a dark elf slashing my eye in a battle. I lived on Asgard for a hundred years and when I had grown quite a bit Odin offered me to fight for him and agreed. So I fought a few battles alongside him and Thor, long story short a dark elf slashed me in the eye and made a scar."

I sighed and stood up from the table I had been sitting at and started walking away.

"What about the scars on your heart?" Peter asked me.

I stopped in my tracks and felt my heart rate pick up.

"Do you really want to hear about it?" I asked in a low voice.

"Yes." he answered.

I nodded my head slowly before I turned around and walked back where I sat down on the table again - you could still see my scars.

"Well the scars on my heart has a much darker history and it won't be pretty."

I took a deep breath.

"After I had come back from Asgard I lived alone in a cave for many years because the people were afraid of me which made me afraid of myself. And the more afraid I was of myself the more unstable I got, I had a hard time controlling my anger and fear. Sometimes I would lose control completely and shift to a dragon and fly to the nearest village and burn it down to the ground and end up killing hundreds of people in just a few hours. I would remember every single moment and get even more afraid of myself. So it turned into an evil circle. I tried everything to end my life, to end the endless nightmare I was living. But nothing worked. So I tried clawing my own heart out and I could feel every single cut I did with my claws but I couldn't get my heart out from my chest. Many times I tried but I would never succeed, I would always end up with the pain."

By now I had a few tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Now you've heard the story, just like you wanted to." I said getting up and walking away.

"Cassie wait!" Peter called after me.

I turned around and saw him walking towards me, and when he got close to me he hugged me and whispered in my ear.

"Thank you for telling us."

I smiled faintly before letting go and wiping my eyes. I saw Steve come up to us.

"It must have been hard for you to tell us. Bucky over there has gone through a lot and he never wants to talk about it so I was wondering if you could talk to him. He needs to open up to someone and I figured that since you have obviously been through a lot then maybe it would be easier for him to tell you."

I could see that Bucky meant a lot to Steve and that he wanted him to not worry about the past, but I didn't know him that well and had only spoken to him once about where Tony was. So I didn't know if I was the right person to do that.

"Have you tried just sitting down with him to just talk?" I asked.

"Yes but he only looks at me and says that he's not in the mood for talking and then goes away."

"Okay, I'll try to talk to him but if he says that he doesn't want to talk then I'm not forcing him to."

"Thank you!"

"Don't thank me yet." I reply.

Steve walks away and the others too except for Peter. We sit on the couch again and talk for a few hours before he says that he's got to go home to May. I follow him down to the door and say goodbye. 

Another day another chapter! Everytime I go to my profile and check my story I can see that the reads have gone up and I'm so grateful! I know I've said it a lot but I really mean it! So thank you! <3 Btw I have made a instagram account where I will be posting things such as when I upload new chapters. So if you want to stay updated then go follow it! :)) <3

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