Guardian

chapter nineteen

i'm posting from my phone on vacation so I can't put this on the masterpost sorry! I tagged it guardian chapter nineteen so you can find it.

I don't even remember what me and Jaime were doing when I saw the black haired boy walking around aimlessly, I just know that I was having fun. I was constantly having fun. This place was like Christmas every single day. There were no worries or problems, just cocktails and beaches.

"Hey who is that?" I asked Jaime curiously. I only ever saw people I knew here- mostly old family members. I didn't really know a lot of people who had died so for the most part it was just me and Jaime having fun and making out.

Jaime frowned a bit at my question, which was strange; people didn't frown here. "I don't know," he told me, but I got the feeling he wasn't being totally honest. This made me frown-why would he lie? There were no reasons for lies here, only reasons for enjoying yourself. The new boy should be enjoying himself too I concluded and walked over to him.

"Hey you new here?" I asked him. Startled, he turned around to face me. I saw his eyes light up with recognition, but I still wasn't sure how I knew him.

"Vic?" he choked out, seeming completely baffled. Before I had time to process what was happening he was running towards me, tackling me in a bear hug. It's a good thing you couldn't get hurt here because otherwise I might have broken a rib.

I looked up into his stormy blue eyes and he pulled away a bit. "Uh hi," I said nervously. "Not to be rude or anything, but how exactly do I know you?"

Now the boy looked even more surprised than before. "You mean you don't remember me?" he sighed. "I guess I don't remember much either. I know about you and I think it was Austin... I can remember dying... kind of..." His arms were still around me and I was beginning to feel a bit awkward honestly. I mean I kinda had a thing with Jaime, even though we were dead and it was nothing serious.

"Sorry, what did you say your name was?" I asked while taking a step back.

He looked at me in the most longing way before mumbling: "My name's Kellin."

With that one word all the memories came racing back. All the I had spent on Earth, all the reasons why I had killed myself, all the good memories with Mikey and my parents but most importantly, all the time I had spent watching over Kellin. The boy who had stolen my heart with his innocence and good looks. The way I wanted nothing more that to protect him from all the cruel things the world had to offer. My mind barged through memory after memory until finally stopping on one. The last time I had seen Kellin, all shaking hands and nerves, holding a shot gun up to the side of his head. He was about to kill himself... but surely that couldn't mean... Had he gone through with it? Had he really gone through with it? Had he been in purgatory while I was enjoying myself and kissing Jaime?

The thought made me sick to my stomach. I could feel my eyes getting wetter and my vision getting blurry. It took me a minute to remember what this was called- crying. I was crying because I was sad. The fact that I was sad made me sad. Nobody was supposed to be sad here. I had done enough of being sad while I was alive.

"Vic... hey, don't cry. What's wrong? I thought you would be happy to see me," Kellin said softly. It wasn't that I was upset about seeing him though, it was just the circumstances. I had tried so hard to help him through his life and make things better for him. Suddenly anger surged through me (yet another emotion that I shouldn't be feeing). Who the hell was he to throw away his life after I worked so hard to help him? I found him a home when he was lying on the streets, I bandaged him up after he nearly killed himself self-harming, I even took a bullet for him and this is how he repays me?

I pushed Kellin away (but not too roughly). I didn't know where I was planning on going, I just knew that I wanted to be alone. It had been a long time since I had felt anything like this and I wasn't sure how to deal with it.

"Vic! Where are you going? What happened?" I heard Jaime yell as I ran but I didn't reply. As mad as I was with Kellin, I still loved him and I felt slightly disgusted with myself for kissing another man.

I stopped running when I found myself at the pile of guitars and amps that me and Jaime had played around with when I first arrived here. I wondered how long ago that had been, mostly just to distract myself. Time wasn't a relevant factor here. It was always bright and sunny, unless you wanted it to be somewhere dark and cool. This is where everyone really should be living. Being alive is overrated anyways.

I started to get that fuzzy feeling again and before I knew it, I could hardly remember why I had been upset before. The good feeling that was slowly filling me up was unfortunately interrupted though.

Footsteps were quickly getting louder behind me. Not wanting to see anyone until I felt better again I ducked behind the biggest amp and sat down.

"Vic?" Kellin's voice already sounded familiar again; it was hard to forget when be was there to keep reminding me. "You can't hide. I saw you."

Damn, I cursed inwardly. Kellin dropped down beside me and looked me expectantly. I ignored him, staring straight ahead as if his words had made no sound. "Vic, please. You were always there for me before. Tell me what's wrong."

"That's exactly it!" I snarled. Kellin flinched at my tone. "I was there for you! I took a freaking bullet for you, trying to stop you from making the same mistake that I did. You killed yourself anyways. You didn't even care. Did I really mean that little to you?"

To my surprise Kellin simply laughed. Despite my anger, I couldn't help but think it was a beautiful sound. "You think that I..." He trailed off then grabbed my chin and pressed his soft, pink lips to mine. I couldn't resist the taste of his mouth. Instead of fighting back, I moved my hand to Kellin's hips and pulled him closer. Now that I could remember exactly how long I had wanted to do this for, it felt fantastic.

After what felt like a long time later, Kellin pulled away and smiled. "I didn't kill myself by the way," he said nonchalantly. I felt my eyes widen at his statement.

"You didn't?" I asked disbelievingly.

"No I'm pretty sure I got hit by a truck." He stood up and stuck out his hand for me to grab. After he pulled me up, I snaked my arms around his waist and pulled him closer.

"I'm glad," I breathed in his ear.

"Ahem," someone cleared their voice a few feet away. I quickly moved away from Kellin and looked up at the intruder.

"Oh... Jaime, this is Kellin," I muttered awkwardly.

"I know him," stated Jaime, sounding less than impressed. "What I want to know is what's going on."