Guardian

chapter sixteen

"Kellin... I love you!"

I was frozen. I couldn't quite comprehend what just happened. I'm dead right? I should be dead. I had pulled the trigger. The bullet had stopped mid-air right in front of me though. So I'm not dead. I love you. I heard the words 'Kellin I love you.' I looked around my room but there was no one there.

"Vic...?" I whispered. But I got no response. "Vic!?" I said a little louder. I knew it was Vic, but why had Vic showed up now? Why did he leave for so long? Nothing had moved, there was no indication of Vic, but I knew it was him. He said he loved me. Why was I able to hear him? I had a bad feeling.

I was so lost in thought I didn't even hear my father walk in.

"What the hell are you doing!?"My father shouted at the scene before him and my eyes went wide. I had no idea how my father would react to this. I hadn't planned on waiting around for his reaction... "What the fuck are you doing with my gun?" I was too scared to speak. He grabbed the gun, put it in the shoebox and returned it to the closet before slowly turning around. "ARE YOU CRAZY?" my father yelled again.

"I-I-I," I tried stuttering but before I could get anything out my father punched me in the face. I was almost shocked; it had been so long since he had done it. He hit me again, and again, and again until I finally fell on the ground.

"I kicked you out! You can't just waltz back in here! You're not welcome!" he yelled as he started to kick me causing sharp pains in my ribs. "And who the fuck do you think you are taking my gun? What were you going to do, shoot me?"

"No I-," was all I could get out before I let out a yelp as he kicked me again. "Then what? Were you going to use it on yourself? Frankly I don't give a shit if you kill yourself, but not with my gun you hear me Kellin!?"

I tried to whimper out a yes but no words came from my mouth.I shouldn't be surprised, I knew my father didn't care about me, but it still hurt to hear those words. He continued to beat me for several minutes. I felt weak, really weak. Maybe he'd beat me to death. I wouldn't mind at all. I wasn't so lucky though. My father finally stopped, picked me up by my hair and threw me out the door. I tripped down the steps and landed on the ground. I had no idea what to do. The thoughts in my head were all jumbled up. Slowly I got up and started walking (or rather limping) away. I don't know where to go. I started walking in the direction of Austin house, but I didn't want to go back there. I still felt like such a burden.

I ended up at a field halfway to Austin's place. I felt weak and really dizzy so I found a bench and laid down on it. I tried to organize my thoughts but I was all confused and my head hurt. Where was Vic? I didn't think he would leave me. He told me (well wrote on paper) something earlier though, something like he was in purgatory? Maybe he finally found peace and that's why I heard him. The words 'I love you' danced around in my head and I started to laugh. Love me? That's impossible; no one could ever love me. I felt really dizzy now. Maybe if I lay here long enough I'll die. I smiled at the thought, and the world went dark.

"Dude is that Kellin?" I heard my name, but everything was black and I couldn't see.

"Holy shit I-I, I think it is," I heard a different voice that I recognized. His voice sounded so familiar. "His nose and mouth is bleeding and he's covered in bruises!" It sounded like... Austin. Austin! The other voice must be Alan. I was somewhat glad to hear his voice. Austin! I tried yelling, but no sound came out of my voice. I couldn't speak, see or move.

"Dude is he breathing...?" I heard Alan whisper.

A moment passed before Austin spoke, "Yeah he's just passed out."

"Who would do this to the poor kid?" Alan asked.

"He was pretty beat up the day I found him and let him stay at my place, but he never wanted to talk about it," Austin confessed. "Maybe it's the same person..."

"Well what are we going to do?" I thought I heard Alan whisper but I wasn't sure. I felt myself being picked up before I couldn't hear anything again.

I woke up on Austin's couch. I sat up. As I did, a little moan escaped from my lips. I clung to my ribs. Right away Austin came over and sat down beside me.

"You're up," Austin said. I didn't say anything; I didn't have an explanation for him. "Dude, you're all bruised up..."

"Yeah uh, it's nothing, no bi-"

He cut me off: "Don't say this is no big deal, because this-" he gestured to my entire body, "is a big deal." I looked down afraid to talk. Surely I can't tell him the truth. I mean I deserve all the pain right? Wouldn't he just tell me to suck it up? Wouldn't he just be disgusted in how weak I am?

"When I found you behind the bar you were all covered in bruises then too..." I still didn't respond. "Look Kellin, I know I haven't been around lately and I'm so sorry, but I care about you. Please tell me what happened." I couldn't help it. I burst out into tears and Austin wrapped me in his arms. "Shh it's okay," Austin said, while patting my back.

"I-I-I went to m-my dad's house," I stuttered out.

A look of realization seemed to appear on Austin's face. "Kellin... did... does your father do this to you?" I couldn't say anything and tears just spilled out of my eyes. "Oh Kellin, I'm so sorry," he just held onto me comforting me while a cried for a few minutes.

"Wait... why did you go back to your dad's?" he asked, in a confused tone.

"... um I..." Surely I couldn't tell him the truth, could I? "I went to get something at my dad's house..." I trailed off.

"It's okay Kellin, you can tell me," said Austin softly. I went for it. I told him everything: how I was going to use my dad's gun to kill myself and how the bullet just stopped in thin air and how it was Vic who stopped the bullet.

"Oh Kellin," Austin said. I saw tears threatening to fall before he hugged me again. "I love you; please, please don't kill yourself, okay?" He loved me? That didn't make sense. Why does everybody love me all of a sudden? I didn't think it was possible. Obviously Austin meant in a friendship type of way but still.

"Kellin?" he said snapping me out of my daze. "Look, I'm so so sorry for not being around lately but I promise I'll be there for you and I just really care about you." I couldn't believe what Austin was saying. He actually cared about me? I just nodded. Austin and I spent the rest of the night just talking, it honestly felt good, yet terrifying at the same time to tell someone (who's alive) about my problems.

When I finally went to bed all I could think about was Vic. What happened to him? The only thing I could think that made sense was that he was finally allowed to leave purgatory, because he wouldn't just stop the bullet and leave. Wherever he is, I just hope he's happy.