Guardian

chapter twenty

I'M SORRY THIS TOOK THREE YEARS, I JUST STARTED SCHOOL AND WE'VE BEEN BURIED IN HOMEWORK. I LOVE YOU ALL

Jaime looked sad, hurt, and a little mad. I didn't like seeing him like this. I didn't even really know him but people shouldn't be sad or hurt here, and after Vic was sad... I didn't like this. "We were just having fun, I don't know what's wrong with what we were doing?" I asked. This time Jaime looked at me really mad. What did I do?

"You just showed up here and you're already...I mean like I've waited so long for...I was finally..." he couldn't seem to find the right thing to say.

"Jaime I, I...I'm sorry..." Vic said. Wait... why was he sorry? I liked kissing Vic...what did I do wr- wait.. the pieces were slowly starting to form in my head.

"Vic..." I asked in such I quiet voice I could barely hear myself, but he notice. "Where you and him... I mean while I was still alive and..." memories of being on earth started to hit me. All the abusing and being sad. Being so sad all the fucking time, and then Vic was there and then he wasn't. I only had to look in his guilty eyes to know the answer. It was my turn to run away.

I heard Vic call out my name but I need to get out of there. I kept running until I was on a sandy beach. It was night time and the water looked beautiful. I needed to clear my head. It was silly of me to be upset. I mean Vic and I weren't a thing... I couldn't even see Vic for god sake. But when Vic left it was really hard...and like he just forgot about me completely. He hadn't even known who I was when I came here and was starting a thing with Jaime. Poor Jaime I thought. I didn't hate him, I mean how could I ever hate anyone? But I was jealous of him. All these negative feelings were starting to overwhelm me. Four words played around in my head. 'Kellin, I love you.' These were the words that Vic said to me right before he left me. He obviously didn't remember though and he obviously didn't feel that way now. I felt an aching feeling in my heart. If... if Vic is truly happy with Jaime then...I'll leave him alone. Yes. I'll let Vic be happy with Jaime.I felt something wet on my cheek. Astonished I wiped my cheeks. It took me a minute to remember that crying was a thing, even though I had seen Vic cry today. I didn't want to be crying. I could feel myself wanting to be happy as if the feeling was trapped in a room inside my head trying to break its way out, but crying reminded me of how many times I cried on earth and thinking of earth just brought back so many bad memories. Then I lost it. I burst out into a sob while putting my hands into my face.

All these memories were hitting me like a ton of bricks. Just brick after brick especially because it's like I was trying to forget but then I couldn't and I was hit with another brick. Austin. I had completely forgot about Austin! Oh no he's probably worried sick about me and I just left him. For god's sake I died right in front of him! Austin helped me so much and he was really my only friend. I have to let him know I'm okay. But how?

I don't know how long I was sobbing for. Minutes? Hours? It was hard to keep track of time here. Eventually I heard an all too familiar voice. "Kellin?" I tried to stop crying so he wouldn't hear me, but he noticed. "Kellin!" he rushed over to me. "Kellin oh no don't cry please stop crying," Vic said with a panicked voice.

"Is this because of me? Please stop. I'm so so unbelievably sorry."

"N-no I.." I choked out but I couldn't get out the rest and to be honest I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to make Vic feel guilty. Vic took me in his arms and hugged me.

"Shh.." he said trying to sooth me and rubbing his hand up and down my back. It was working I was already feeling more calm in Vic's arm. No I can't think like that Vic is with Jaime.

I squirmed out of his arms. "Vic, you're with Jaime. This isn't right!" I said standing up. Vic looked a little hurt.

"I'm not with Jaime" Vic mumbled. "Yes we had a thing before you got here and I feel sick to my stomach because I wasn't thinking about you but when you got here I...words can't describe how I felt..." he said, taking my chin in his hand. If I had a heart it would be thumping a thousand times a minute. "I had a long talk with Jaime and we aren't together okay? The only person I want to be with is you." he almost whispered the last word. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Slowly Vic leaned closer to my and captured my lips with his. I felt butterflies in my stomach as I kissed him back softly.

"What about Jaime though?" I asked breaking the kiss, "If we are together wont he like...hate you or me or something?"

Vic looked like he held back a chuckle. "Nobody hates anybody here, he's cool with us and I want us all to be friends," he said wishfully. I honestly would like nothing more than to be friends. "So what do you think?" Vic questioned.

"About getting together?" I smiled and instead of answering I just kissed him. I felt Vic smile as he kissed me back.

I had lots of fun spending time with Vic. Sometimes we would spend time alone. One night we were on a mountain under that stars and it was so beautiful. There was a lot of kissing that night. Sometimes we would hang with Jaime though. Jaime seemed pretty chill about us and I was grateful. One night I was with Vic and a thought popped into my head.

Austin. I keep forgetting about Austin. How could I do this? I'm a terrible person. My hands started to shake and Vic noticed.

"Hey, hey Kellin what's wrong?" Vic asked taking my hands with a concerned look on his face.

"W-we can't be here Vic," I said though a shaky breath. Vic only gave me a questioning look.

"I forgot about Austin. I have to go see Austin."