This Image has:Self Harming,suicidal thoughts,depression...
The whole gang knew I had a huge crush on Johnny,well except him of course.See my personality is a lot like Dallas,everyone thought he was my older brother just because were both cold,tuff,and rude.I was the toughest girl greaser there was,so when the gang found out I liked Johnny it came as a surprise since he's quiet,shy,and fragile.I did something that I promised myself not to do but I fell in love with Johnny...
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I sat on the couch in the Curtis House,Soda,Steve,and Darry were coming back from work.Two and Pony came back from school,Dally came by but then left.Johnny arrived a little after Pony.
I just sat there my thoughts about the other day with Johnny,I smiled to myself."Um guys I have to tell you something..."Johnny said while playing with his fingers.Everyone sat on the couch,Pony had sat next to me,We bothers noticed he looked very nervous.
"Go ahead Johnny"Darry said reassuring him.Johnny nodded and he finally spoke"Golly um,I have a girlfriend..."I Dally my heart break.I just looked at the ground,tears were on the edge of spilling but I had to pull it together I could let them see me cry.I noticed Pony's eyes on me,He had a "sorry"look.I looked back up at Johnny."Well tell us about her Johnnycakes"Steve asked smiling."I met her a while ago,at the Drive In she's middle class,we've been dating for 2 months now and I thought maybe she could come over later?maybe a movie night since Dar ain't workin"He had confidence in his voice,he smiled while talking about her.
The gang all agreed that she could come over,so I got up and started to head out trying to avoid eye contact with anybody."Where ya headed y/n?"Soda asked knowing why I was leaving."Somewhere"I snickered,I looked over at Pony I could tell he felt sorry."Can you come over around 6?I want you to meet her y/n since your one of my best buddies"Johnny said eyes full of joy.I nodded and walked out quickly.
Once I had shut the fence I put my head down and tears finally poured out.My heart was aching,I knew this would happen I'm so stupid for thinking he would like me back,heck stupid for thinking he would love me back.I should've never fallen in love with him!
I thought while walking to my horrible household.
Household
I walked in and went up to my bedroom,I closed the door and went to my dresser.I took out my blade and rolled up the sleeves of my jacket and I slit my wrist.
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I hate myself,Why would I fall in love?with someone I knew wouldn't love me back!I don't wanna meet her I bet she's perfect unlike me,I'm so worthless I'm stupid I'm just done with everything in my life going so wrong!Ive tried so many times to be happy but I just couldn't.Every time I thought something good in my life was happening it turns out horrible!I wish I didn't exist!I rather be dead!no one would care heck maybe Johnny would be glad I left it's not like he's ever cared for me in that way.The whole gang would be happy I was gone I just wanna disappear.
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Tears slowly went down my cheeks,just like the blood did off of my wrist.It wasn't the first time cutting but it was the first time doing it because of Johnny.He knew that I cut so did the rest of the gang I promised I'd stopped,and I did this was my relapse.After 4 months I finally did it,My cuts were deep my hand was covered in blood.I only did 2 on each wrist but they've never been deeper.
I held my hand gently cupping the blood and walked to the bathroom,my mind still wasn't clear so when I turned on the sink I snapped back into reality.I washed the blood off and grabbed some toilet paper and walked to my room.I had cleaned the blood off my floor and I went to wash off my blade.I put it back into the dresser and I had to put a napkin over my cuts and put pressure so it would stop bleeding.
After a while it did and my wrist felt extremely sore.I rolled down my jacket sleeves and I laid on my bed.My eyes hurt from crying,my wrist were sore,and my heart ached.I slowly closed my eyes and fell asleep...
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Later
