Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, expect for Lin and Vanessa thudding around with gifts beneath the tree, and Sebastian waking up at midnight because he wet the bed. Not even a mouse.
On Christmas morning, I'm the last one to wake up. Lin cheers when I trudge out from the guest room. The apartment looks like a holiday movie, all warm and cozy with the furnace going full blast. Sebastian is in full lotus, surrounded by mountains of wrapping paper and boxes of toys. On the other side of the tree is a pile of elaborately-wrapped boxes with my name on them. What could the Mirandas have gotten me? A Swiss army knife in case I encounter Jamal From The Basketball Court? Gift wrapped human remains?
I give Vanessa a red sweater and Lin a white coffee mug that I doodled on with sharpie. Sebastian's gift is a toy Hess truck from the drugstore. The Mirandas give me a handful of books, a radio for the guest room, an afghan blanket, a drawing pad, a fancy box of colored pencils, and two tubes of store bought mehndi. Vanessa tells me they bought them from an arts and crafts store in SoHo.
Something crumples in my chest. I stare at the tubes in my hands and feel my heart thumpthumpthump against my ribcage. This mehndi was made in a factory from plastic and metal and food coloring. I almost tell them that my mother made mehndi paste with Rajasthani powder and lavender oil and sugar and black tea, and that Radhika's bridal mehndi was handmade in a wooden bowl, mixed with hands and drawn so delicately I marveled it.
I wipe my eyes. Sebastian squeals when he unwraps a magic kit. Lin watches me with an unsure smile. I remember. I remember My Mother making Radhika's mehndi. It was May in Pakistan and the sky was blue and flowerpots were scattered throughout the house. Our stay in Rohiwal was extended after Radhika's marriage was planned. There were too many women in our house the week before it happened. Aunts, cousins, friends, friends of friends. The men stayed in the parlor and smoked and listened to the news on a radio. The women cooked and cleaned and bombarded Radhika with questions until she couldn't breathe. I never understood what the big deal was, about getting married. Looking back, I don't think she did, either.
At one point they measured Radhika for her wedding outfit. They stretched measuring tape around her waist and cupped their hands around her arms. Then those witches put a curse on my sister and a sari appeared on her body and a girl I'd never seen before appeared in the mirror. The fabric was a deep red and her jewelry must have weighed twenty pounds. The bridal mehndi on her arms made me want to be an artist.
Didn't He have His hand on my shoulder? Wasn't He right behind me?
I can't tell you how beautiful it was, because it wasn't beautiful, it was hideous on my Radhika. She smiled, but I could see in her eyes that she hated it. My sister upcycled thrift store clothes into prom dresses, could fix any bad hair day and file the most jagged of nails. My Father tightened His grip on my shoulder. Watching those women dress her was like watching a mortician prepare a dead body for a funeral. Her body was there, clad in deep red, in golden jewelry and brilliant mehndi— daisies and petals and stripes and swirls— but when I looked into her eyes, I saw no one behind them.
How could I talk to the Mirandas about my family? How would I find the words?
Lin asks if I'm okay. The furnace kicks up a notch. Sebastian tears open the magic kit and pulls a bouquet from the tip of his magic wand. Lin scrambles over to teach him card tricks. I am still sitting on the floor, holding the plastic mehndi in my hands. I didn't even say thank you.
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SHOUT - Adopted by Lin Manuel Miranda
Fanfiction"Sometimes I think the universe sets certain people out into the world like gifts meant for others, people whose purpose is to save someone else. That's how I think of families. And if the universe couldn't do me that favor, couldn't put someone on...
