SHOUT - Adopted by Lin Manuel Miranda

MEMORY LANE

The weekend follows this past week like a dream follows a nightmare. Saturday morning, Sebastian bursts into my room and jumps on my bed to wake me up. He drags me to the kitchen, where Lin whips a towel against the smoke rising from the stove. He is making torrijas, a.k.a burnt french toast with cinnamon and honey. There's a puddle of spilt milk on the counter an overturned carton of smashed eggs on the floor. Vanessa wakes thirty minutes later and orders Lin clean up his mess while she resurrects our breakfast. Sebastian and I turn on the radio and jam out to Jackson 5. Lin crawls around the kitchen on all fours to sop up the mess while Vanessa saves our french toast with a special ingredient called culinary knowledge. 

After we eat, Sebastian begs me to watch a movie with him instead of locking myself in the guest room. Lin blocks the doorway when I try taking up the latter suggestion. Lin and Sebastian snuggle on the couch. I sit stiff in the armchair. We turn on Sleeping Beauty. Not sure if Lin was intentionally baiting me with that. While Aurora pricks herself on the magic spindle, I roll up my sleeves and pick open the scar tissue that healed over my scab. Tobillo lies down on my feet and naps. I feel the rise and fall of its chest, the warmth of its fur. My family didn't have a television in Pakistan. The first time I saw one was in the airport when we referred to a screen above the terminal for flight times. When I go to Pakistan, I'll leave from the same airport from which I came-- maybe even the same terminal, same airplane--

"Vidya, did you hear me?"

I snap out of my Brainfog and see Lin standing above me with the remote in his hand. "What?"

"I asked if you wanted to come walk the dog with Seb and me."

I slouch into the chair. "No--?"

"No-o-o, Viddie!" Sebastian waddles over and pats his hands against my knees. "please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeaaaaaaase!"

There's a light drizzle outside. We bundle up in coats and distribute umbrellas, then head for the Tobillo field. Sebastian holds the leash, but since Tobillo is pathetically stronger than him, the dog ends up leading him instead of the other way around. Brown sludge litters the streets where snow once did, cold as that, but dirty and wet from the rain. I fall behind the two of them and drag my feet through the puddles. Sludge cakes between the soles of my boots. The wind blows in gusts.

When we arrive at the park, Lin takes Tobillo's leash from Sebastian, who darts towards the see-saw the moment we enter the gate. Lin and I walk Tobillo to a bench, the same one Vanessa and I sat on when we came here in September. I close my umbrella and let the rain drench my hair. Sebastian sits on one end of the see-saw and bounces himself up and down, up and down. Lin bops my head with his umbrella, waits for me to laugh, then leans over to look me in the face when I don't. "Everything okay?"

"Everything's okay."

"...you sure?"

He scoots closer so his umbrella covers both our heads. "I have good instinct when it comes to reading people's minds." He turns to watch Sebastian for a moment, then pokes my cheek. "Your mind is telling me, 'not completely okay.'"

"Tell me about Vanessa in high school."

It feels like an accusation, asking him that. He draws back as if I swore at him, then turns to face the playground. "Well. She was two years younger than me, so I didn't see her much in those days, but she caught my eye in the hallways." He grins."She was beautiful."

"Was she?"

"More than you could imagine. Everyone knew it, too. Everyday I wonder why she chose me instead of some football player with giant shoulders and, I don't know, a varsity jacket."