I rip the exam in half and leave the two pieces on Ms. Rishanki's desk. On the subway, I pull my knees to my chest and breathe into the fabric of my skirt. Expected me to cry, didn't you? I didn't. Tears are for people with homes and families and countries to call home, and full bellies and smiling mouths and monsterless heads. Tears are for people who don't need to use them.
The train jolts to a stop and the words Washington Heights flash on the screen above the seats. The doors almost shut as I walk through. I have to push them open with both hands.
The moment I exit the station and get out onto the street, the cold slices ribbons through my skin. I stand for a moment at the top of the stairs and look across the street. From here, I can see the deli Lin and Vanessa took me to that first week I lived with them, the entrance to the Tobillo field, the library where the harmonica man performed London Bridge for me. One foot in front of the other. There you go, Viddie. This isn't home. Never was, never will be. Washington Heights is my purgatory, a hole for me to hide in while I figure out where I'm going next.
One foot in front of the other. Here I go.
"Vidya? Vidya!"
I look up and see Lin jogging towards me. He's wearing the black coat he wore when we went to see the Christmas tree. I stop in my tracks.
He halts to a stop in front of me and breathes for a moment before unwinding his scarf and draping it around my neck. "Why aren't you wearing a coat?"
I didn't notice I wasn't. "I must've forgotten it in my locker."
He folds the scarf around my shoulders and tucks the edges beneath the collar of my sweater. "I was just going out to look for you. Why were you at school so late?"
I lower my head and bite my lip. My Wilmington shoes have white cracks from the cold.
"Viddie?"
"You don't have to try, you know."
Lin blinks. "What?"
The words come out before I can stop them. "With me. You're nice people and all, and it's probably hard for you to throw me out, but it's—" I feel the burn behind my eyes. "It's okay, if you give up. It's—"
My breath trembles and I shut my mouth. If he throws me out now I won't get to say goodbye to Sebastian. I won't get to gather my sketchbook, my Ipod, my afghan blanket-- no, Lin and Vanessa gave that to me for Christmas, forget it. Forget all of it.
Lin stares at me for a moment before crouching down and grabbing my shoulders. He looks me in the eyes. Can he see through to my brain? Can he read through Operation Pakistan like a book?
"Vidya," he says. "I am never, ever giving up on you."
He stands and wraps his arms around me and holds me, holds me, holds me while the cold cuts away at my skin.
YOU ARE READING
SHOUT - Adopted by Lin Manuel Miranda
Fanfiction"Sometimes I think the universe sets certain people out into the world like gifts meant for others, people whose purpose is to save someone else. That's how I think of families. And if the universe couldn't do me that favor, couldn't put someone on...
