SHOUT - Adopted by Lin Manuel Miranda

THE INQUISITION

Mr. Gowda shakes me awake halfway through class to tell me the office called for me. He also says that if I fall asleep in his class one more time, I'll have lunch detention for a week.

I walk three loops around the lobby before trudging to Precious Baby headquarters. The main office at Wilmington looks more like a Manhattan business office than a junior high school. The secretary glances up from behind her glasses when I walk in. She lowers the phone from her ear and tells me that the principal is waiting for me in his office. The last time I went to the principal's office was at my old school when I broke some kid's nose for calling me a wee-wee-sucking-bitch-ass-freak. I have a funny feeling I won't get the same satisfaction this time around. 

The first thing I see when I creak open the heavy wooden door is Lin and Vanessa sitting at one end of the room and Gracie sitting with her parents on the other. The principal finishes up a call at his desk. He gestures for me to shut the door and points to the chair next to Lin and Vanessa. Gracie keeps her eyes on me as I sit. She bounces both her feet beneath the chair. I look over at Lin without moving my head. He shakes his head once and looks back at the principal, who slams the phone in the holder and clasps his hands on the desk. 

"Mr. and Mrs Miranda. Mr. and Mrs. Rosenbaum. Thank you so much for coming in."

"Of course," says Mr. Rosenbaum. He looks like a male version of Gracie, fifty years older and three inches taller. "Is there a problem? Or—?

The Principal clears his throat. "Well, there's been some suspicion among teachers about the authenticity of Vidya's report card."  

Vanessa flashes me her warning stare. Mrs. Rosenbaum sputters. "What does that have to do with Gracie?"

"Gracie has been Vidya's tutor for the past month or so." The Principal taps his pen against the surface of his desk. "We suspected there may be some sort of link between Vidya's straight A's and Gracie's stellar academic achievement— which, by the way, is very commendable. Good for you." He nods and grins at the Rosenbaums. Gracie bounces her heels against the legs of the chair and stares at the rug.

"I don't understand," says Vanessa. "What's the issue with Vidya having straight A's?"

"Based on her grades in the past, it isn't likely Vidya made this drastic improvement in such a short amount of time without some help." The principal narrows his eyes at me. "We suspect there's a bit of cheating going on, maybe copying each other's homework—"

I cross my arms. "So because my grades improved, that makes me a cheater." 

"That's not what I'm getting at," says the principal. "Vidya's report card isn't my only source. A few teachers have offered some input—"

I squeeze my eyes shut. "Rishanki."

"—and based on these accusations, we've come to the conclusion that these grades—" he taps my report card. "—are not entirely Vidya's effort." He picks up a pencil and wobbles it between his thumb and index finger. "If one of you admits your mistake, we can talk it through and figure out some sort of punishment. Nothing serious."

I stare at him through the dust floating around in the air. Lin pinches his bottom lip and nods, slowly. Gracie bounces her leg beneath her chair. I try to make eye contact with her, but her eyes are set on the floor.

"But." The principal drums the pencil against his desk. "If none of you come clean, and we find out that what we suspect is true, then I have no choice but to suspend both of you."

I've been suspended twice before, but to Gracie Rosenbaum, suspension must be like the losing end of the academic rapture. Some people say that the principal films his office with a secret camera so he can go back and re-watch the footage to evaluate the situation. Considering his computer looks older than Lin, I doubt that. It's a shame. This fiasco is worthy of being relived.

Gracie starts to say something, then stops, then breathes out through her mouth. "It's true."

Vanessa shifts in her seat to glare at me. Mr. Rosenbaum opens his mouth, then closes it, like a fish. The principal widens his eyes. "Well, that's—"

"But it was Vidya's idea."

The dust in the air settles. I curl my fists on my lap. 

"It was Vidya's idea," the principal repeats. 

"We—" Gracie gulps. "I was chosen to tutor her, 'cause she was sort of struggling in her classes, and didn't really have a lot of friends, and stuff. When we sat down in the library for me to tutor her, she told me to do her homework, and—"

Her voice breaks. Mrs. Rosenbaum rubs her back. Lin taps his foot against the rug. 

Gracie inhales. "—and I didn't wanna say no, because I'm nice like that. Over time, it became a regular thing."

The principal sucks in his top lip and inserts the pencil into its holder. "Why didn't you say no, Gracie? You know better." 

"She—" Gracie stops bouncing her foot. "She threatened me, in a way."

I lock eyes with Gracie for a moment before she turns away. 

Lin turns to me. "Threatened her," he repeats. 

"I forget exactly what she said," says Gracie. "Something with fists, and concrete, and, oh..."

she breathes out a withered sigh and wipes the tears from her eyes. The principal taps his pencil against the desk three times, then clears his throat and turns around in his chair. He grabs a slip of paper from the bookshelf and writes something down. "Vidya." He looks at me over his glasses. "This behavior may have been tolerated at your old school, but here, the standards are evidently much higher."

"Evidently?" I lean forward and grimace. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Gracie shrinks back in her chair. Mr. Rosenbaum puts his hand up and glares at me. "Hey, hey, hey!"

Vanessa grasps my arm and pulls me back into the chair. Lin taps his fingers against the arm of his chair in rhythm to Summer, Highland Falls. I wonder if there are student tutors in Pakistan. I slump in my seat and force my eyes to meet Gracie's. What the hell did I expect from her? Why did I think I could make a friend?

"Vidya?" The principal turns to me. "Is this true?"

The sunlight shifts and the room darkens through the glass windows. Up until now, I've never thought of Gracie as my one true friend in the world. Wasn't it wrong of her to ditch me for the newspaper club? Wasn't it wrong of her to kick me out of her house, then lie about me to the principal? 

Wasn't it wrong of me to believe someone like her would ever fight for someone like me? 

I cross my arms and look at the ground. Nothing I say will matter. Gracie has lived in one place all her life, has never worried about her next meal, has always had someone to stick up for her. Parents. Friends. Academic advisers. But me— vicious, vile Vidya—I have no home, no place to go back to, no family. No tutor. No friend. 

Lin sighs and puts his head in his hands. The principal fills out my suspension form and gives it to Vanessa. I can't go to school for three days. On the way out, Lin tells me that he's taking away my Ipod and my sketchbook, and that I have to babysit Sebastian, who is once again having intestinal complications. None of that matters. Not Gracie, not the Mirandas, not my iPod and my sketchbook. I don't care, don't care, don't care. I'll be in Pakistan soon, so I don't care. I think and re-think that over and over, like a mantra, as we ride the subway back to Uptown, as we walk back to Washington point, as we return to the apartment and Lin confiscates my things. Don't care, don't care, don't care.