Hiraeth

Bad Thoughts

Mina's POV

It was Sunday, The day I'm supposed to go back home. Jihyo's offer was very tempting to the point I actually started to like the idea. I was still in bed since Jihyo just woke me up.

She told me that Chaeyoung made breakfast so I had to get up. I remove the covers and sit up before getting up completely. I get up to fast and stumble slightly from dizziness.

I was about to fall when I feel arms wrap around my waist. I tense slightly before relaxing when I realize it's Jihyo. "You ok?" She whispers in my ear, caressing my stomach softly.

I let out a shaky breath as I lean back into her. "Yea. I just got up too fast." I mumble as I feel her gaze on me. "You look pale." She says in concern, releasing her grip and turning me to face her.

She cups my cheeks as I open my eyes slowly, looking at her. Concern was obvious on her face and I just smiled. "I'm fine." I tell her with a small smile.

I was fine but I might've been pale because I haven't eaten much. My step-father believes I shouldn't be able to have dinner and, of course, my mother agreed to his little suggestion.

I didn't like eating that much anyway. I would always get sick after eating. I also believed I would get yelled at if I touched food outside of school so I never ate much.

Jihyo kissed my forehead softly before smiling. "Let's go eat." She says and I just nod a little. I wasn't hungry but I couldn't say no to her as much as my mind wanted me to.

We arrive downstairs to a bunch of chattering. The chattering stops and everyone smiles at me. I was confused but I just smiled back. Momo came up to me and handed me a plate.

The plate didn't have much food and I was thankful to Momo since she knew I didn't eat much. "That's barely any Momo!" Jeongyeon exclaimed and Momo just shrugged.

"It's fine Jeong. She doesn't eat much and if I let any of you make it, you would give her too much." Momo explains as she kisses my forehead softly before walking back to her seat.

Her kisses were different from Jihyo's. They felt different but I wasn't complaining at all. I sit down in an empty chair and Jihyo sits next to me as Nayeon givers her a plate of food.

We sit there and eat our breakfast. "It's good Chae." Tzuyu says quietly and everyone agrees. I looked at the food and poked it around some.

I wasn't use to eating breakfast so I didn't know if I would get sick. That's something Momo didn't know. She knew I didn't eat a lot but she didn't know the amount I eat lessened as she was away.

"Eat that for me ok?" Jihyo whispers in my ear. I couldn't resist her but it still seemed hard. "You can do it babygirl." She whispers again, causing me to close my eyes.

I put my fork through some sausage and eat it, keeping my eyes closed. I struggled but I finally was able to swallow it. I felt horrible eating and, of course, the voices made sure I felt worse.

"You disobeyed your mother and step-father. Good job."

"Don't you think she'll get fat if she continues to eat?"

"Probably, but she's already fat so it wouldn't make much of a difference."

I stop eating and put my fork down. "Excuse me." I say quietly before getting up, walking to the bathroom. I get to the bathroom and close the door, forgetting to lock it.

I go to the sink and turn the faucet on so I can splash my face. After, I turn the faucet off and let out a light breath. The voices came back.

"You ate more than you should've. Maybe skip lunch."

"I agree. That would be best. You don't need to eat at all."

"I don't even get why you eat. Starving is a very good option you should consider."

"I k-"

"Shut up!" I yell as I grab my head. I wasn't a loud person so they probably didn't hear my yell downstairs. I sit on the ground, against a wall, and close my eyes, still grabbing my head.

The voices still wouldn't shut up so I hit my head against the wall. I kept on doing it repeatedly until I felt something soft, stopping immediately.

I feel arms wrap around me and I immediately lean into them. "It's ok babygirl. I'm right here." She whispers in my ear, causing my breath to hitch.

"Now, tell me, who do you want to shut up?" Jihyo questions as I grip her shirt. "They won't shut up. They just keep going. The voices in my head won't shut up."

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WOOOOOOOOOOOP-

As always, love ya guys

~Mac